sEEKinG mY trUEselF

This is my life for now

2010-11-05T00:14:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Hmmmm......it has been quite a long time since i last wrote here. I did get myself online almost everyday but I was just too lazy to update this blog of mine. hehehe;)

Alhamdulillah, now i'm less depress.
Maybe, it is because i'm surrounded by people who love and care about me and the best thing about it is i'm free to be who i wanna be.
Thank you very much people for making my days since i dropped out college.

Yeah, slowly i kind of accepting and enjoying my life now though i am stranded in this small town while all my friends are in college struggling to obtain their degree. To be honest, i envy you guys but i believe that i'm gonna be there soon too. very soon;) ameen~

If you are curious of what i'm doing now, here i am to update you.
I'm not studying anywhere right now and i'm not working though.
So, what am i doing?hehehe
Most of the days, I help my dad with his small business, selling fresh water fish at the market.
Normally, we will leave home around 6.30 am and we will be back by 12 noon.
The best part of it, i love to see how the day starts with the sunrise accompanying us when we leave home and seeing people starts their work early in the morning.
I adore early persons like those farmers and fishmongers very much cause i'm trying very hard to be one of them. hahaha~
Abah gives me 'upah' too and he never being so stingy if i were to buy anything such as newspapers, magazines etc.
I love this job=)

In the evening, it's the time to get fit and healthy.
I just started my losing weight plan by eating right and working out daily.
We'll see how it goes k;)
What i do?
Firstly, i really wanna Thank God cause I'm blessed with wonderful sisters.
We rock!!!!hehehe~
Girls, you are my sunshine=)
Ema, Nina, Adek and Dila, I LOVE YOU!
Now, working out is no longer a problem cause we have each other to remind ourselves to do it everyday.
It's either jogging, walking, playing badminton and even dancing.
Can't go this far without you girls=)
Let's keep it up and WE'LL SEE THE RESULT SOON!

Nights are spent for rest, thinking and having time with family.
No more staying up late cause i'm too tired to do so.

Now, i'm content with my life.
i accept it just the way as it is fated.
But one thing,
Ya Allah, please get me back to college life very soon.
I want to study! I want to earn a degree too!!
Learning something that I love.
InshAllah, everything is gonna be fine.
I'll make it. I'm being optimist towards You=)

people, do pray for me yea. Thanks=)
Hope you people are content with your life too.
Love it just the way it is;)
tc!

Hati ini

2010-10-14T23:53:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Wahai hati,
Mengapakah kau masih milik dia?
Mengapakah kau masih belum mahu menyingkirkan dia, setelah sekian lama?
Mengapakah kau masih milik dunia?

Wahai hati,
Andai kau bisa merasai dan memahami bahawa dia tidak baik untukmu,
Tapi kau tetap berkeras bahawa kau begitu cinta dan sayang padanya,
BENARKAH ITU KATA-KATAMU WAHAI HATI ATAU KATA-KATA SANG NAFSU DURJANA?

Wahai hati,
tolonglah bantu aku kali ini,
jangan jatuhkan dan lemahkan aku lagi,
bantu aku untuk kembali berdiri bermaruah dan megah,

Wahai hati,
aku tahu, ini tidak mudah bagi kamu,
TETAPI KALI INI, KITA BERDUA PERLU LAKUKAN INI,
TIDAK BOLEH TUNGGU LAGI,

Wahai hati,
aku tidak memaksamu melupakan dia atau membenci dia,
tetapi kau perlu tinggalkan dia kali ini, dengan hidupnya sendiri,
kerana kau belum cukup kuat,
BELUM CUKUP KUAT UNTUK MENANGKIS AJAKAN DOSANYA,
APATAH LAGI UNTUK MEMBIMBINGNYA,
kau tidak kejam jika kau berbuat demikian,
MALAH ITU SATU KEPERLUAN SEGERA UNTUKMU,
KAU PERLU LAKUKAN INI,
pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

Wahai hatiku sayang,
aku harap kau mengerti=)

I'm not that cheap!!

2010-10-13T11:11:00.005+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

It's time to let myself free of those negative thoughts!!
I love myself.
I will never harm myself with stupid acts.
I will never be that two persons again.
I will just be me!
Start with a small step but keep walking without turning back.
(sedikit, tapi berterusan)

a man, if he loves you and want you to be his wife,
he will protect you,
he tries his best not to hurt you,
he will not take advantage on you,
he wont influence you to do bad things!!!!!
cause you are future mom to his kids!!!!!
so wake up darling,
remember what buzai said,

" tak perlu tercari-cari, tak perlu menanti-menanti, percayalah jodoh di tangan Allah, sentiasalah berdoa semoga bertemu jodoh yang soleh dan dapat menerima diri kita seadanya. ubah diri menjadi lebih baik, insyAllah jodoh kita pun baik"

first love,
biasalah, susah nak lupa,
tapi perlu ingat,
sayang diri sendiri dulu, baru sayang orang lain!!!!!!

Ya Allah,
berikan hamba taufik dan hidayah,
permudahkan urusan dunia dan akhirat hamba,
ameen=)

There's nothing left

2010-10-06T14:14:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Have you been in a situation where you are walking around without any direction in your mind?
Some people call it to be a zombie in this real world.
Yes, i've been there.
it was horrible and sickening!!!

for everything that has happened in my life, there's nobody to be blamed.
neither me myself, him, environment, family or God!
it's just fated that way.
i have to accept it as part of my life wholeheartedly with no regret or killing guilt.
is that really guilt or ignorance?

i need space people.
i need a breeze of fresh air.
and actually i do have one, but it's just me who refuse to embrace myself in my new life.
why not dear??
there's nothing left there!
no point of holding on!
why not??
why??

Love should not bring you down

2010-09-24T04:58:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Love. Something that each and every one of us looks for in our life.
What is love actually?
Honestly, I can't tell.

I'm hurt when I realize how love brings me to endless desperation.
Maybe it's not love.
Love should not bring you down right?
In fact, it's the one who should make you get STRONGER in every move that you make.
If it's love, it's gonna make you value and love yourself even more not slowly and silently sabotaging your self-esteem.

It's over for me.
I had enough of it.
I'm not going to look for it anymore and maybe this time i should just let it find me.
I believe, someday he'll come.
He will make me recognize myself again.
He likes me just the way i am.
His love is to give and take, share, learn and work together.
I will wait for you love!!
I know someday you'll be here, here in my heat=)

Life is your life.
That means you should value every single second of it.
Life is all about making decisions.
One decision leads to another chapter of your life.
Yes, we do make wrong decisions every time which lead us to a chapter that you never wish to be there.
But, once you decide, there's no turning back!
All you can do is move on and live with the choice that you make.

But one thing that is good about life is we are allowed to make wrong decisions.
But, with conditions.
1st, you should learn from the wrong ones so that you make the right ones more next time!
Second, no regrets of the past!
Third, never expect to make right decisions all the time!
Last, don't stop learning and improving!

Love and life,
are part of me,
how I wish they treat me better next time,
I should not just wish, let's do!

Quotable quote of the day:

"Disappointment, defeat, and even apparent failure are in no way permanent conditions unless we choose to make them so"

=)

Have a blessed day peeps;)

I just don't give my best yet, i did'nt fail;)

2010-09-18T06:16:00.008+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

It has been about 2 months since I registered for form 6 at SMK Buyong Adil Tapah.
The 2 months flew just like that without me being serious and committed to it.
Maybe i need time to accept the fact that I'm gonna start it all over again and adapt myself to that new environment.
I felt so boring at school because their mentality and the way they mix around are so much different from me. Plus, I miss learning everything in English and speak English in class.
I was so pessimist to this course, doubting whether the subjects that I'm taking is gonna help me getting into university.

Now, it's the other way around.
I miss school.
I can't wait to go to school this Monday though I'm gonna be shot with questions for not coming to school for 8 days.
Plus, I need to hand in 2 assignments which I'm still working on it.
It's okay. It's okay.
Just go to school. Assignments is another story.
Try to finish it these 2 days, if you can't, just prepare to lose marks okay;) it's not that bad compared to skipping class right?huhuhu~

One more thing that is always bothering me is that, what course should I be taking after STPM?
At first, I'm thinking of doing Law but after realizing that Law needs a lot of heavy reading and being a lawyer does not necessarily gives me high income to pay all my debts, I think I'm gonna drop law from my list. What do you think?
Now, I'm thinking of doing Economics. Why?
For now, I opt for it because personally I find it more fun to study since it's analytical yet critical and progressive.
I mean it's not just about reading and memorizing facts that have been set by somebody like Law is. I have friends who find reading law fun to them but I just feel that I'm not really into it.
Plus, I prefer Economics because it's only 3 years course. hehehe. So I would save one year=)

For now, let's leave it as KIV first.
What is more important is, I have to start getting serious in my studies.
I have to get straight A's for STPM and secure a place in University of Malaya.
Then, maybe I can try my luck for JPA scholarship;)
Ya Allah, please help me to achieve this and guide me on my way to get there.
ameen~

I DID NOT FAIL BEFORE, I JUST DON'T TRY HARD ENOUGH TO SUCCEED !!!
SO, LET'S GIVE ANOTHER BEST TRY!!!!

people, please pray for me yea;)
May Allah bless you always=)
tc!

UM sweetheart, wait for me yea;) i will b there soon!!!

Life has more to offer=)

2010-09-16T06:54:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Ohh, actually my life is'nt that bad.
I should be grateful and make full use of it.
Appreciate each day as it comes,
past is past, regretting it bring no good to me,
future is secret, worrying too much about it is not for me,
now is all that i have, should enjoy it;)

Yeah, all i need to do is open up and share what i feel with others=)
Should never keep everything to myself but keeping a few is ok;)

Ohh, it's not easy to earn money and i see how my parents work for it.
Should not simply ask money from them, ask only what i need not what i want.
Should help mum with house chores and dad with his business.
No more laze around k;)

I need to reduce my addiction to YM.
Should stop making new contacts from chat rooms since you already know who most of them really are.

Oh, school will start next week!
Let's get serious this time.
No more excuses ok;)

Last but not least,

I LOVE MYSELF,
I LOVE MY FAMILY,
I LOVE MY BFF'S,
so, i should not hurt myself and others anymore;)

people, please pray that i'll do well this time=)
thx!!!
have a nice day;)

Eid Mubarak=)

2010-09-11T02:09:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar Walillahilham~

Welcome Shawal and I really hope this Eid is gonna bring bless and fresh air in my life.
It was Eid.
Nothing special this year, it's always the same like the years before.
But, one thing i will never forget was the moment i asked forgiveness from my beloved parents; mak and abah=)
This was the 1st time i truly begged for their forgiveness sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
I was not shy to admit my mistakes and yes they forgived me.
I was relieved.

I did not visit anybody for this day.
I offered myself to entertain the guests at home since I have no plan for this 1st day of Eid.
I hope the KONVOI and REUNION that we've been planning will turn out well because I really want to meet all my friends. Miss u guys damn much!!

But, something is missing.
The feeling of 'kembali kepada fitrah' that I felt last year was not there.
Maybe it's because I commit so many sins and last Ramadhan was not fully utilized to clean them all=(
Ya Allah, please let me meet Ramadhan again next year. ameen~

EID MUBARAK people!!!
Please forgive me for all the wrongs that I did yea=(
Have a nice and blessed EID this year!!
Take care, AVOID OVER EATING YEA!!
hehehe;)

Till then. Nite=)

Menunggu Bulan Jatuh ke Riba

2010-09-07T02:31:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Sehingga sekarang, aku masih belum bisa berfikir dan bertindak secara dewasa.
Malah, kadang-kadang aku rasakan diriku ini lebih bersifat keanak-anakan.
Kegilaan kanak-kanak, keinginan kanak-kanak, kedegilan kanak-kanak dan jiwa kanak-kanak mungkin.
Patutkah aku yang sudah berumur 20 tahun berkelakuan sedemikian rupa?
Atau sebenarnya umur 20 tahun itu belum cukup untuk membuatkanku dewasa?

Semakin hari, aku terasa matlamat hidupku semakin kabur.
Aku asyik berdolak dalih dengan diri sendiri.
Aku tahu tujuan hidupku adalah untuk beribadah kepadaNya, tetapi aku tetap menyimpang dari tujuan itu.
Mengapa?
Mengapa?
Aku tidak punya jawapan untuk itu.
Cuma itulah yang aku rasa sekarang, berbelah bagi!

Kini aku dapat rasakan aku sangat jauh dariNya.
Aku sendiri memilih untuk menjauhkan diri.
Ingin bebas, kataku.
Ingin menjadi diri sendiri, jeritku.
Ingin dipandang seperti orang biasa, luahku.

Sejak hatiku terluka oleh si dia,
Aku benci dia tetapi masih tidak berdaya membuangnya dari hidupku,
Malah, akulah yang berulangkali mencarinya kembali,
Kini cintaku padanya tidak semurni dulu lagi,
Tidak seikhlas dan sejujur dulu lagi,
Hanya nafsu bersulam kebencian.
Maafkan aku, engkaulah yang membuatku menjadi sekejam ini,
kerana engkau berani-beraninya mengkhianati diri ini,
yang tulus mencintaimu sepenuh hati,
JADI LEBIH BAIK KALI INI, AKU BENAR-BENAR PERGI!
USAH KAU TANYA KENAPA!
KERANA SEBENARNYA ENGKAU TIDAK PERNAH PEDULI KENAPA!

Ya Allah,
Mengapakah diri ini tidak pernah bersyukur atas segala yang Engkau beri?
Sentiasa berasa tidak cukup dan mahu itu dan ini,
Sedangkan sebenarnya, aku amat-amatlah bertuah.
Berangan-angan alangkah bahagianya hidup mewah,
Bermimpi-mimpi betapa untungnya memiliki rupa paras yang cantik,
Bercita-cita alangkah gembiranya apabila diri ini ada yang menghargai dan mencintai,

Ya Allah,
Sedarkanlah hamba bahawa hamba adalah sangat-sangat bertuah,
hamba dilahirkan sebagai seorang Islam walaupun belum Islam jiwanya,
hamba masih punya ibubapa yang amat menyayangi hamba walaupun hamba tidak berbakti pada mereka,
hamba punya adik-adik untuk digelar saudara walaupun hamba bukan kakak terbaik buat mereka,
hamba cukup makan, cukup pakai, punya tempat berlindung malah hampir semua keinginan hamba dapat ditunaikan oleh ibubapa hamba selagi keinginan itu mampu mereka tunaikan,
hamba punya tubuh badan yang sempurna dan sihat walaupun hamba tidaklah secantik bidadari idaman setiap lelaki,

Tetapi Ya Rabbi,
MENGAPA HAMBA MASIH BELUM MERASA CUKUP?
MENGAPA HAMBA MASIH BELUM MERASA BAHAGIA?
MENGAPA HAMBA MASIH MENDAMBAKAN PERHATIAN DAN CINTA MANUSIA?
MENGAPA HAMBA MASIH TIDAK BERSYUKUR?

Ya Allah,
Sesungguhnya Engkau mengetahui segala kecelaruan yang berkecamuk di hati dan fikiran hamba,
Hamba berdolak-dalih dengan perintahMu,
Hamba berkira-kira dengan suruhanMu,
Hamba patuh sedikit, ingkarnya banyak.

Ampunkan hamba ya Allah,
Tunjukkanlah hamba jalan bahagia,
BAHAGIA UNTUK SELAMA-LAMANYA=)

I'm still stranded here=(

2010-09-02T16:41:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I have been skipping class for 2 weeks.
I just received a call from the office, but i did'nt pick it up=(
huhuhu....i know, my mistake here, but i just can't tell them why am i skipping class so far.
I don't find school encouraging and interesting anymore.
I'm bored at school.
First, my classmates are all 2 years younger than me and i find it's not that easy to catch up with them. Believe me, i tried.
Second, my Bahasa sucks. Now, i learn everything in Bahasa after years of English. Not easy man! You kind of missing the English words...huhuhu
Third, i hate seeing myself in school uniform again after 2 years of freedom in college.

But........................
I know all these are just excuses!!
ESCAPISM.
These are the symptoms of escapism.
Am i going to repeat the same failure like i did in Taylors?
Nooooooooooooooooooooo.
I'm not!!!!

My Sis said this,
" Kak, dlu ko yang pilih nak study under petronas then ko x buat betul2, skrg nie ko jugak yang pilih nak amik stpm, x kn ko nak main2 lagi. Ko fikirla sendiri kak!"

I was speechless when i heard this.
I knew it's so true.
The problem is just me not the program that i'm taking.

InsyAllah, i will go to school after raya and never skip class again okay=)
Promise!!!
Pray for me that i'll make this promise yea=)
Till then.
Have a nice day people;D

maybe i found it back

2010-09-01T16:55:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I'm tired of making fun of myself.
Let's come back to earth and live life to the fullest.
Hoping for what's not ours is sickening and hurting us so much.
So my dear, work on what you have and make your life happier with it.
Accept your fate with your sincere heart and keep going!!
Move on please. Let's make another chapter of your life!!!

ONCE YOU DECIDE TO LEAVE, NEVER TURN BACK, JUST WALK STRAIGHT!!
THERE YOU GO GIRL!!!

p/s: aitidal, idah, awin, ain, yun, faiz and all my frens i miss u guys. thx for all your support=)

cubalah mengerti!!!

2010-08-27T00:46:00.005+08:00

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

andai saja dapat aku luahkan segala yang terpendam di hati ini pada seseorang.
tiada yang memahami.
entah mengapa, aku semakin malas mengaku dan mengadu pada Tuhanku.
ya, aku semakin sombong, jauh, hilang tanpa arah tuju.

segala usaha untuk bangun kembali tidak berhasil.
kucuba mula dari bawah lagi tapi semangatku tidak kuat untuk menghadapi semua ini.
aku teramat amat kecewa dengan hidupku ini.
ingin sahaja aku turutkan hati ini, melarikan diri ke mana hati dan kaki ini membawaku.

aku benci diri aku.
tiada lagi yang berharga.
hanya mengecewakan dan tak membawa erti.
Tuhan, mengapa Engakau uji aku sebegini?
Benarkah aku sanggup untuk menanggung semua ini?

sebenarnya aku tak mahu kekal begini, atau menjadi lebih parah,
tapi apakan daya tiada siapa yang mengerti malah hanya mencaci,
mencari salah,
menghina diri ini,
sedangkan mereka tidak pernah tahu apa yang aku lalui,

aku benci,
aku benci,
ingin sahaja aku lari dari hidup ini,
kejayaan masa lalu mengundang rasa hiba dan pilu di hatiku,
ke mana hilangnya liza yang dulu,
kawan-kawan seperjuangan telah bertebaran mengejar cita-cita,
sedang aku masih meratap laranya jiwa,

entah, aku bingung,
di mana silapnya,
bagaimana harus aku mulakan kembali, aku tak pasti, aku sudah tidak yakin yang aku mampu,
perlukah aku hentikan semuanya di sini,
menjadi pesakit jiwa yang hidup di dunia sendiri,
tak mahu kembali lagi,

teman,
andai engkau masih kenal temanmu ini,
sudilah kiranya engkau mendengar,
kerana mendengar itu sudah lebih dari cukup buatku,
teman,
aku sudah hilang,
aku sudah jatuh, dan tak bangun-bangun lagi.

andainya ada yang mendengar, memahami, berkongsi & menasihati,
mungkin tidakku jadi begini,
cubalah mengerti sayang,
aku perlu kamu!
perlu kamu!
perlu kamu!
that's it!

Aku yang terpilih=)

2010-05-22T00:01:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Alhamdulillah, Segala puji hanya bagi Allah,Tuhan Sekalian Alam.
Semoga kata-kataku di sini bukan omongan kosong semata, tetapi luahan ikhlas dari seorang hamba dan insyAllah membuahkan amal.ameen=)

Alhamdulillah.
Aku baru selesai sesi luahan rasa dengan kakak usrahku yang amat aku sayangi.
Susah payah dia menjengukku setiap minggu demi memastikan aku o.k.
Jazakillah akak, semoga Allah merahmati akak selalu.ameen=)

Sungguh tenang malam ini.
Berbeza dengan malam-malam yang lain.
Inilah bezanya bila kita sudah mendapatkan pencerahan untuk segala ujian yang mendatang dalam hidup ini.
"Putus harapan itu tiada dalam kamus seorang muslim, kerana seorang muslim menggantungkan harapannya kepada Allah, dan mustahil pergantungan pada Allah itu putus".
Begitu kata Hilal Asyraf di facebooknya.

Kak shira ada berpesan,
"Liza, ini adalah tarbiyah Allah untuk kamu.Jangan biarkan ia berlalu begitu sahaja tanpa kamu mengambil pelajaran daripadanya.Kalau tak, rugi kamu nanti"
"Orang yang beriman itu, tidak akan jatuh ke dalam lubang yang sama dua kali"
"Yang paling penting, kita benar-benar jelas akan matlamat kita, iaitu MENDAPAT REDHA ALLAH dan BERNILAI PADA NERACA ALLAH bukan neraca manusia, yang lain itu datang kemudian"
"Mulai hari ini, rasakan yang Allah itu sentiasa bersama kamu dan sentiasa melihat usaha-usaha yang kamu kerjakan, Allah tidak akan mensia-siakan usaha kamu itu"
"Jangan lupa jaga MUTABAAH AMAL awak, walaupun sikit, tapi itulah ubat awak buat masa ni.Ingat tu"
"Kalau ada apa-apa, jangan segan-segan 'contact' akak"

Terima kasih akak.
InsyAllah, liza akan ingat semua tu.

Hamba bersyukur ya Allah,
kerana hamba terpilih untuk Engkau uji dengan ujian ini,
tanpa ujian ini, mesti hamba terus menerus menjadi manusia yang sombong, ego dan berbuat sesuka hati di muka bumiMu ini.
ujian kali ini, benar-benar mengajar hamba erti PERGANTUNGAN SEPENUHNYA KEPADAMU dan mengenalkan hamba kepada hakikat siapa diri ini, siapa Kamu, DIRI INI:HAMBAMU, ENGKAU: RABBKU, ILAHKU.
Engkau berhak melakukan apa sahaja kepadaku.
Kerana aku hambaMu.
KITA MERANCANG, TAPI ALLAH JUGA PUNYA PERANCANGAN YANG LEBIH BAIK UNTUK KITA.

So............................................

MY FOCUS NOW: (22/5-10/6)

1. JAGA MUTABAAH AMAL
-solat fardhu 5 kali sehari(cuba untuk khusyuk)
-solat sunat taubat(at least 1 kali sehari)
-baca dan tadabbur al-Quran (at least 1 kali sehari)
-Mathurat(pagi & petang)
-zikrullah=ingat Allah(sebanyak yang mungkin, jangan pernah lupa akan kewujudan Allah bersamamu)
-tutup pintu2 kelalaian

2. STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!
-focus on the next papers
-revise topically and do past years
-don't give up if you stuck
-mark those things that you don't understand, then ask rakin or others later

3. EXAMS
-try your very best
-never give up before trying!!!!

LIZA, THIS 'PENCERAHAN' IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR YOU FOR NOT TRYING YOUR BEST FOR THIS FINAL.YOU MUST WORK HARD AND TRY YOUR BEST.YOU MUST PASS THIS TEST!!!SO THAT YOU CAN OVERCOME IT IF IT COMES AGAIN LATER.ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT!!!

Ya Allah,
permudahkan segalanya,
ameen ya rabbal alameen=)

"BERPEGANGLAH PADA TALI ALLAH"

buang yang keruh, AMBIL YANG JERNIH=)

2010-05-20T19:36:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Alhamdulillah,
Segala Puji Bagi Allah Tuhan Sekalian Alam.

Benarlah kata Allah,
"hanya dengan mengingati Allah, hati akan menjadi tenang"
hanya dengan mengingati Allah, aku temukan kembali kekuatan untuk membina semula keyakinan diri.

Terima kasih ya Allah, kerana tidak putus-putus memberikan harapan baru kepadaku.
Terima kasih ya Allah, kerana sentiasa menghantar mereka-mereka yang prihatin kepadaku.
Hamba amat hargai semua itu, syukur alhamdulillah, semoga Allah berkati mereka semua.

Teringat pesan mak pada hari itu,
" Liza....dah, mulai hari ini, buka lembaran baru, jangan ingat lagi yang sudah-sudah, buang belakang je semua tu, tak ada masalah yang tak boleh selesai"
Nasihat mak ni, seakan memberi kelegaan dan semangat baru kepadaku, seakan telah terlepas segala beban yang menghempapku selama ini.
Aku tahu kenapa, kerana aku sudah tidak lagi berahsia dengan mereka, mereka tahu dan faham keadaan aku sekarang, mereka sangat-sangat memberi semangat kepadaku.

Ya Allah,
hamba ingin membuka lembaran baru hidup hamba,
akan hamba teruskan perjuangan yang berbaki ini dengan cekal dan tenang,
dan lepas ini,
hamba ingin mencari diri hamba semula,
hamba ingin membina dan memperbaiki diri hamba semula,
hamba ingin memperbaiki hubungan hamba denganMu, keluarga hamba, sahabat-sahabat hamba dan mereka-mereka di sekeliling hamba,
hamba ingin menjadi insan yang berguna,

Ya Allah,
hamba serahkan segala urusan hidup hamba kepadaMu,
hamba amat yakin hanya yang terbaik yang akan kau berikan padaku,
Ya Allah,
apa pun ketetapanMu untukku kelak,
hamba mohon Ya Allah,
permudahkanlah segalanya,
jadikanlah hamba redha dengannya,
bantulah hamba menghadapinya,
senangkan hati mak, abah dan keluarga hamba menerimanya,
semoga terserlah hikmahnya suatu hari nanti,
semoga dengan ujian ini, hamba menjadi hambaMu yang kenal Tuhannya, faham hakikat dirinya seorang hamba, cekal menghadapi hidupnya pada masa akan datang, berbekal iman padaMu.
amin ya Allah, amin ya Rabbal'alamin=)

hatiku tercicir tikaku berlari~

2010-05-19T17:23:00.005+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

saban hari kegelisahan, penyesalan, kesedihan, dan kemandulan progress menghantui diri.
hati ini tidak berhenti bertanya-tanya,
mampukah aku meneruskan semua ini?
adakah aku masih punya sengat yang pernah aku miliki suatu ketika dahulu?
terlalu lamu aku meninggalkan dunia realitiku,
meninggalkan segala yang amat dekat denganku,
Rabbku, keluargaku, sahabat-sahabatku, komitmenku, cita-cita tinggiku, personaliti idamanku, cahayaku,
tenggelam aku dalam dunia fantasiku sendiri,
hingga aku tidak kenal lagi siapa diriku dan siapa orang lain bagiku,
hari-hari kulalui saja,
dengan itu dengan ini,
aku tidak tahu apa yang aku lakukan dan mengapa aku lakukannya,
masa begitu pantas berlalu,
akhirnya terpaksa juga aku kembali ke dunia realiti,
mendepani segala kebodohan yang telah aku perbuat,

saat itu,
aku sudah mula membenci diriku sendiri,
tidak dapat kumaafkan diriku ini,
hingga setiap kali aku terpandang 'wajah'ku di cermin,
aku benci dengan 'wajah'ku itu,
aku kecewa dengan diriku,

saat aku perlu bertarung di medan cita-citaku,
aku masih punya lara di hati,
yang tidak tahu aku bawa ke mana,
dengan Rabbku, aku malu, begitu banyak dosaku, kusangka-sangka sudah tak terampun dosaku,
mengadu semuanya kepada mak dan abah, aku takut aku mengecewakan mereka dan membuat mereka risau dan bersedih,
mengadu pada sahabat, mereka jauh,
mengadu pada kawan, aku tidak rasa mereka faham,
kupendam lagi perasaan itu,
kubiarkan diriku tenggelam sekali lagi dalam dunia fantasi itu,
hingga aku benar-benar hampir lemas, hampir mati,

mujur, syukur,
masih ada yang sudi menyelamatkanku,
masih ada yang sudi menghulurkan tangan,
walaupun telah beberapa kali aku lepaskan tangan mereka,
mereka tidak putus asa denganku,
tolong!!!
jangan putus asa denganku,
aku perlukan kalian semua,
aku perlu sangat-sangat,

orang kata, susah untuk memaafkan orang lain yang menyakitkan hati kita,
tapi percayalah, berkali-kali lebih susah untuk memaafkan diri sendiri kerana merosakkan dan menyakiti diri sendiri,
kini semuanya bukan lagi rahsia,
ya, aku mengaku aku perlukan kalian semua,
tidak mampu lagi aku pendam semua ini seorang diri,
terima kasih Allah,
terima kasih mak,
terima kasih abah,
terima kasih ema, nina, iros, dila,
terima kasih aitidal,
terima kasih fiqah,
terima kasih yun, rakin, faiz, dan kawan2 a levels yang lain,
terima kasih kak shira,
terima kasih sahabat-sahabat yang mendoakan walaupun kalian jauh di mata,

itulah,
apa yang dulu aku tinggalkan dan lupakan tika aku meniti kejayaan,
datang kepadaku menghulurkan tangan tika aku jatuh tersungkur tak bangun-bangun,
terima kasih semua=)

bagiku kembali ke dunia realiti bukan mudah,
berkali-berkali aku terpaksa mengumpulkan semangat untuk terus berdepan dengan realiti, bukannya lari, percayalah, aku sudah cuba, dan sedang cuba,
satu persatu perlu aku susun kembali,
hatiku ini perlu aku rawat,
pada masa yang sama aku yang masih lemah ini perlu bertarung di medan cita-citaku,
orang lain telah lama bersiap sedia dengan senjata mereka,
tapi aku masih teraba-raba mencari senjata apa yang bisa aku gunakan,
kesuntukan masa menghambatku,
dan secara jujurnya penyesalan itu tetap menghantuiku setiap hari,
cuma kali ini, ia datang dan pergi,
kadang kala aku bisa, kadang kala aku rasa cukup tak berdaya,

semuanya bermula dengan sekeping hati,
hati yang dulu pada awal aku melangkahkan kaki di bumi Taylors dan Kuala Lumpur ini,
ingin aku isi dengan sesuatu,
telah lama aku mencari sesuatu itu,
tapi, tiba-tiba hati ini tersalah cari,
tercari pada manusia yang tidak jujur dan ikhlas,
tercari pada dunia yang membuat aku lemas,
hati ini sakit,
sakit sangat-sangat,
kecewa sangat-sangat,
kerana semua itu bohong belaka,
kerana semua itu kosong belaka,
dan saat itulah semua kebodohanku bermula,
berterusan hingga amat susah untuk dihentikan,
satu demi satu kebodohan kusaksikan,
tanpa merasai apa-apa tentangnya,

cukup!cukup sayang!
bukan masanya untuk bersedih begini,
berjanjilah pada diri sendiri yang kamu akan bangkit kembali,
bukan untuk orang lain, untuk dirimu sendiri,
kasihankanlah dirimu itu,
tidakkah kau kasihankan dirimu walau sedikit pun???
kalau kau selama ini bisa kasihankan orang lain berlebih-lebihan, mengapa tidak dirimu sendiri???
kamu perlu berlaku adil dengan diri sendiri,
keampunan dan rahmat Allah sentiasa menunggumu jika kamu benar-benar ikhlas dan sungguh-sungguh ingin kembali,
kembalilah,
lihat!!!mereka semua ada bersamamu,
memberi semangat dan menenangkan kamu,
tinggal kamu saja yang perlu melangkah,
MELANGKAH DENGAN GAGAH TANPA MENOLEH KE BELAKANG LAGI!
YAKINLAH, ALLAH PUNYA SESUATU UNTUK KAMU DI LALUAN INI,
MELANGKAHLAH,
MELANGKAHLAH BERBEKALKAN KEYAKINAN TERHADAP JANJI ALLAH,
SABAR!!!
KUAT SAYANG!!!!
KAMU TAHU KAMU MAMPU!!!
KERANA MAMPU ITU ADALAH KAMU, SEPERTI KAMU YANG DULU!!!!
usaha sungguh-sungguh, doa sungguh-sungguh, tawakal sungguh-sungguh~
INSYALLAH, SESUATU YANG LEBIH BAIK MENUNGGUMU=)
AMEEN~

Jatuh Lagi?Bangun lagi!!!

2010-05-17T16:08:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyayang.
Alhamdulillah, masih ada sedikit cahaya menyinari hatiku yang kelam ini lantas kembali aku bermuhasabah diri di sini.

Ya Allah, aku jatuh lagi ke lembah dosa dan kelalaian itu.
Baru seminggu aku mula merasakan ada sinar dalam diri dan nikmatnya mendekatiMu serta meninggalkan laranganMu, kini aku jatuh lagi.
Bagaikan tidak sedar aku telah melakukan dosa-dosa itu lagi.
Tapi aku sedar, aku hanya hambaMu yang lemah dan mudah kalah dengan nafsu sendiri.
Tapi aku juga sedar, bila jatuh, aku mesti bangun lagi!!!
Aku tidak boleh putus asa.
Aku perlu bertaubat lagi.
Malah, aku perlu sentiasa bertaubat.
Kerana hakikatnya aku, hambaMu yang tidak terlepas daripada dosa.

Ya Allah,
ampunilah hamba atas kelemahan hamba untuk menghalang diri dari melakukan dosa,
ampunilah hamba atas kelalaian hamba dari mengingatiMu dan menyedari keberadaanMu,
hamba berdosa Ya Allah,
ampunilah hamba,
bimbinglah hamba,
beri hamba kekuatan,
terimalah taubat hamba,
ameen ya rabbal alameen=)

I start to love and respect myself again=)

2010-05-06T17:31:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Dengan NamaMu Ya Allah,
hamba menarikan jari hamba ini, meluahkan apa yang hamba rasa saat ini.
moga ada manfaatnya.

Ya Allah.
telah 20 tahun lamanya hambaMu ini bertarung dengan dirinya sendiri dan dunia sekelilingnya untuk mencari sebuah jati diri.
jati diri yang bisa membuatkan hamba bahagia.
jati diri yang bisa membuatkan hamba rasa berharga.
jati diri yang bisa membuatkan hamba dipandang mulia.
jati diri yang bisa membuatkan hamba setanding mereka-mereka di luar sana.

sayangnya,
hamba mencari semua itu pada dunia,
hamba mencari semua itu pada manusia,

hamba tak jumpa Ya Allah,

yang hamba jumpa,
kekecewaan kerana cinta ini dipersia,
yang hamba jumpa,
kecantikan yang membawa bala,
yang hamba jumpa,
dosa-dosa yang mengundang nestapa,
yang hamba jumpa,
keseronokan yang bertahan sesaat cuma,
yang hamba jumpa,
kegagalan demi kegagalan akhirnya,

hamba buta Ya Allah,

buta akan kasih sayangMu yang Maha Luas,
buta akan kasih sayang mak dan abah yang tak terbalas,
buta akan kasih sayang keluarga hamba yang ada tika hamba cemas,
buta akan kasih sayang sahabat-sahabat yang menyelamatkan hamba tika hamba lemas,
buta akan kasih sayang murabbi hamba yang tulus ikhlas,

hamba lalai Ya Allah,

satu persatu tanggungjawab hamba abaikan,
ibadah, hamba tinggalkan,
ibu-bapa dan keluarga, hamba lupakan,
pelajaran, hamba sambil lewakan,

yang hamba cari....................
entah.......
entah apa yang hamba cari!!!!

kini, Ya Allah,
berkat bantuan sahabat-sahabatku,
berkat tunjuk ajar murabbiku,
berkat pergaduhan malam itu dengan adik kesayanganku,
berkat air mata mak yang jatuh pada hari-hari itu,
berkat pandangan sayu abah saat itu,
berkat wajah adik-adik yang kusayangi selalu,
berkat tekadku untuk memaafkan diriku,
dan tentunya Ya Allah berkat petunjuk dan izinMu,

hati ini rasa ingin kembali padaMu Ya Allah,
walaupun jauh di sudut hati hamba, hamba takut kalau-kalau tangisan ini masih palsu seperti yang dulu-dulu,

ya Allah,
hamba yang hina ini,
memohon ampun padaMu Ya Allah,
perbaikilah agama hamba Ya Allah,
perbaikilah dunia hamba Ya Allah,
perbaikilah akhirat hamba Ya Allah,
ameen ya rabbal alameen=)

Muhasabah Seorang Hamba yang Alpa

2010-05-04T12:15:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyayang.
Segala Puji Hanya Bagi Allah Tuhan Sekalian Alam.

Alhamdulillah,
bilik dan seluruh apartment telah berjaya liza kemas.
liza rasa puas walaupun liza berasa penat sedikit.
semuanya kembali kelihatan bersih, kemas dan tersusun rapi.
tiba-tiba, terbit rasa hiba di hati,
Ya Allah, sekian lama apartment ini berselerak, sekian lama jugalah fikiran dan jiwa ini berserabut, gelisah dan meronta-ronta untuk dibersihkan.
Sampai bilakah hati ini akan terus gelisah begini, ya Allah?

Kini kubina sebuah dunia kecil untukku dan Allah,
jauh dari dunia yang seringkali membuat hatiku lara,

Kulihat sendiri satu persatu nikmat hilang daripadaku,
Kusaksikan sendiri aku kehilangan segala tempat bergantung kecuali Kamu,
Kurasai sendiri apabila semuanya tidak seperti yang aku mahu,
Kutempuh sendiri masa depanku yang masih belum tentu,

Tapi Ya Allah,
di dalam dunia kecil itu hamba sedar,
betapa selama ini,
tipis benar imanku padaMu,
entah di mana aku letak Kau di hatiku,
kini,
apabila segalanya hilang dan luput dariku,
apabila segalanya berpaling dariku,
Kau masih di situ,
Memerhatiku,
Menjagaku,
Mengampunkanku,
Memberi harapan padaku,

Kini segalanya kelihatan musnah,
Tapi aku masih mampu tersenyum bahagia,
Kerana kutemui Kamu,
Kurasai kasih sayangMu,
Kusedari kesilapanku.

Ya Allah,
tika masa depanku tidak tentu mana arahnya,
tika jasad dan jiwaku tertanya-tanya mampukah aku,
tika harapanku menggunung tingginya,
kuserahkan segala urusanku padaMu Ya Allah.
Akan kucuba sedaya upaya untuk TADBIRnya, kuserahkan padaMu untuk TAKDIRnya.
beri hamba kekuatan Ya Allah,
cekalkan hati hamba Ya Allah,
tetapkan iman hamba Ya Allah,
permudahkan urusan hamba Ya Allah.
ameen ya rabbal alameen=)

Lost

2010-04-22T19:44:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

what do you think,
when you feel you have no value to Allah, parents, family, friends or anybody in this world,
you are useless right??
what do you think,
when you no longer know yourself,
when you just let the world shape you,
when you lost your self value,
you are just nothing to define right??
what do you think,
when you feel like running away coz nobody understands how u feel?
when everybody just expect the good side of you not the bad side?
what do you think,
when you are lost,
when you don't know what to do,
when you start to do stupid things to fill your time,
you are crazy right??
then, that's who i am now.
i'm lost.
no longer liza.
i'm just nobody!!!!!!!

when Allah offers His Love and Forgiveness, we choose???

2010-03-25T22:55:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

In the name of Allah, The Most Merciful and The All-Knowing.
Praise and syukur to You, Ya Allah for every single breath that i take and all the nikmat that surround me.
Hope this forgetful slave of You will always be grateful and potray her gratitude in the form of obedience to You.

*taking a deep breath............................smile=)*
here we go!!
bismillah.....may all these trigger something in you and me.

do you feel life's confusing for you?
as for me, that's exactly how i feel these 20 years of my life.
i did so many things to make me happy, but it did'nt last long either.
i tried those stuffs that people say ' it's cool and fun', but still it's not what i'm searching for.
coz all those things are temporary, conditional and suite me for certain time and condition only.

i want something!
something else!
there must be that something!
and it's not all these!
can anybody suggest what's that something???

ermmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

liza dear,
be honest plz=)
you know that something right?

S.U.B.M.I.S.S.I.O.N.

have you submit yourself today, dear?

to whom??

Allah, The One and Only God of you and me.

People, (telling myself 1st, then you)

Who created you and want you to be on this earth?

Why your Creator create you in the very 1st place?

Do you know who's your Creator?

If you know, do you know Him well?

*think, answer them honestly*

Allah.

He created you.
He chose you of thousands of your father's sperms.
He chose you coz you are special.
You are His vicegerent(khalifah).
You are His slave(hamba).
You are here to serve Him.
Did you ever realise that?

I don't get it la.

Ok, put it this way.
We all come from Allah.
We are here because of Him.
Even everything that we think we own it, is from Him.
Don't you think we need to be grateful to Him?
Don't you think we need to 'seriously consider' wut's His 'expectations' on us?

But, you and me always forget this.
We thought we own all these.
Our life is our own business.
Others have no rights to it.
Even our Creator??

We conduct our life as we like.
We decide ourself what we want to do with our life.
But.
But.
But, people.
We forget.
We forget who is giving us this life on earth?
He gives us this life for what?
For fun?
He gives us this life for a reason=)

" I have only created Jinns and men, that they may serve Me" (Al-Dhariyat, 51:56)

serve Me!
not serve your own nafs.
not serve other people.

How to serve Him?

Easy.
S.U.B.M.I.S.S.I.ON.
submit to Him.
lead your life as He wants us to.
obey His rules.
don't worry, dear.
He's not torturing us.The rules are not rules actually.They are saviours.
It's for our own good, here and hereafter.Believe Him=)

The good news is, the submission order comes with great offers!!!
extremely good ones.
one of them, His Love and Forgiveness.

" O you who believe! Shall I lead you to a bargain that will save you from a grievious Penalty?

That you believe in Allah and His Messenger, that you strive ( your utmost) in the Cause of Allah, with your property and your persons : that will be best for you, if you but knew!

He will forgive your sins, and admit you to Gardens beneath which Rivers flow, and to beautiful mansions in Gardens of Eternity : that is indeed the supreme Achievement.

And another ( favour will He bestow,) which you do love-help from Allah and a speedy victory.
So give the Glad Tidings to the Believers."

(As-Saff, 61:10-13)

So, what's your choice?
Believe or not to believe?
His Love and Forgiveness or His Penalty?

You decide!

Waallahu'alam=)

Yes dear, you deserve a second chance=)

2010-03-19T23:59:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

In the name of Allah, The Most Merciful.
Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for the continous 'nikmat' that you give me.
Hope that i don't take it for granted and be more grateful to You.

Life is a test for you and me.
and in life, what we really want, is not necessarily good for us.
Allah gives us what we need, not what we want.
so, let's appreciate what we have.

Life is full with choices.
It's ok if you made wrong choices.
Forgive yourself.
Then, make right choices NOW.
YES, DEAR.YOU DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE.
SO, lET'S START AGAIN=)

Just now, i listened to IKIM.FM(my new favourite radio station) and i feel so refreshed with the tips given by the ustaz on HOW TO CHANGE.
simple and cliche tips, but meaningful to me.

here are some of them.

ADEK2, I KNOW TEENAGE LIFE'S FULL OF TEMPTATIONS. BUT WE CAN'T BE TEENAGERS TWICE.
WHY DELAY YOUR TAUBAT?
THERE MIGHT BE NO TOMORROW FOR YOU.

SO, ADEK2!!!!

-know what you really want in life.what's your purpose of life?
-turn to Allah 4 answers
-obey and respect your parents and teachers
-don't lie ( to yourself and others) coz lie leads to maksiat
-embrace yourself into soleh(good) environment, avoid maksiat
-be brave and strong to SAY NO TO MAKSIAT
-have 'malu' as your ornaments

USTAZ, I DID A LOT OF MISTAKES.BIG BIG ONES USTAZ.
NEVER MIND DEAR, TAUBAT! TAUBAT NASUHA!
HOW?

-admit that it was a mistake
-ask for Allah's forgiveness
-don't repeat the mistakes again
-settle your debts with Allah and people
-continously do good deeds

ONE LAST ADVICE FROM ME,
ADEK2,
BE LIKE THE FISH IN THE SEA WATER,
THE WATER IS SALTY, BUT IT NEVER TURN THE TASTE OF THE FISH TO SALTY TOO.
YOU CAN BE LIKE THE FISH TOO.
HOLD AL-QURAN AND SUNNAH CLOSE TO YOUR HEART.
OBEY ALLAH.ALLAH WILL PROTECT AND HELP YOU.

hope you and me get something here.
wallahualam~

Mahukah aku??

2010-03-14T18:50:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Allah bertanya padaku,

" Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Maukah kamu Aku tunjukkan suatu perdagangan yang dapat menyelamatkan kamu dari azab yang pedih?

(Yaitu) kamu beriman kepada Allah dan RasulNya dan berjihad di jalan Allah dengan harta dan jiwamu. Itulah yang lebih baik bagi kamu jika kamu mengetahui.

Niscaya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosamu dan memasukkan kamu ke dalam surga yang mengalir di bawahnya sungai-sungai, dan ke tempat -tempat tinggal yang baik di dalam surga 'Adn. Itulah kemenangan yang agung.

Dan (ada lagi) karunia yang lain yang kamu sukai (yaitu) pertolongan dari Allah dan kemenangan yang dekat (waktunya). Dan sampaikanlah berita gembira kepada orang-orang mukmin. "

( As-Saff, 61:10-13)

Ya Allah,
mengapakah aku masih belum berganjak untuk menyahut seruanmu??
mengapakah aku masih belum mahu melepaskan ikatan-ikatan dunia yang rapuh itu??
murabbiku ada berpesan,

" lepaskanlah thagut(sembahan2 selain Allah, cth: nafsu, nikmat dunia), berpeganglah pada Tali Allah. sampai bila nak tangguh???awk nak ke tak nak nie?? "

Ya Allah,
pimpinlah hatiku ini.
yakinkanlah aku bahawa inilah jalan yang terbaik, tiada jalan lain.
ameen=)

Will never and ever give up!!!!!!

2010-03-07T00:42:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

In the name of Allah,
the One who keeps inspiring me to move on in life.
the One who keeps me going in life.
the One who knows everything about me.
the One who gives me chances to start it all over again.
Thank you Allah, for the time and space that you give, for me to change myself, to be a better person, insyAllah.

Now, is the most critical point of my life.
I have less than 22 days for my A2 trial and will be sitting for A2 final on May 18.
Only Allah knows how nervous and uncertain i am right now.
You know why??
coz this A2 final is the determining factor.
If i meet the cutting points, i'll still earn the scholarship, if not i'll hve to pay them back all their money.
Ya Allah, i don't want the latter to happen coz i don't want to burden my family with that.
I'd burden them enough already.

So, no choice,
the only way out is TO PUT MY BEST EFFORT TO ACHIEVE IT before it's too late to put anything, even to say a single thing about it.
Then, my plan,
I WILL NEVER & EVER GIVE UP UNTIL I FINISH MY LAST PAPER.
I'M GOING TO WORK HARD & SMART, OPTIMIZE MY TIME FOR STUDY.
SACRIFICE.
NO MORE LEISURE TIME.
STAY FOCUS!!!
FOCUS!!!
MAKE A STUDY PLAN.
A SMART ONE.
WORK THE PLAN.

The most important thing is, to understand why am i doing all these??
what for??
(........)

It's a hard time.mix feelings.
But, i can still smile though coz I believe that THERE MUST BE SOMETHING THAT ALLAH WANTS ME TO LEARN HERE!I MUST LEARN THAT!BE PRESERVERENT GIRL!JUST FACE IT!DON'T ESCAPE!

Ya Allah,
help me to stick with my decision.
help me to work all my plan.
when i stress out, please heals me My Rabb.
don let me give up half way there.
Ya Allah,
on You i put all my hopes, trusts and faith.
ameen=)

mood: study!study!study!

Hepy Bufday sayang=)

2010-02-27T23:33:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Alhamdulillah, puji dan syukur kepada Allah atas segala nikmat pemberianNya.
Alhamdulillah, hari ini aku berusia genap 20 tahun.
Terima kasih mak dan abah kerana telah membesarkanku selama ini.
Kini, anakmu ini bukan lagi berumur belasan tahun.
Aku sendiri seperti tidak percaya yang usiaku sudah masuk dua puluhan.
Aku harap dengan pertambahan usiaku ini, aku lebih matang dalam membuat pilihan dalam hidup.

Hari jadi kali ini merupakan yang paling berbeza bagiku.
Tiada kek hari jadi, tiada nyanyian lagu hari jadi, tiada hembusan lilin dan tiada juga kad atau hadiah.
Tapi, aku amat bersyukur kerana pada hari jadiku ini Allah memberikan kembali apa yang telah lama hilang dari diriku. Fitrahku.

Kutemui semula diriku yang telah lama hilang.
Aku baru sedar yang selama ini aku merayau-rayau di dunia ini tanpa tujuan.
Satu pengalaman yang amat pahit dan hitam seumur hidupku.
Melayan nafsu dan menjamah dosa yang tidak berpenghujung.
Aku sangka aku gembira.
Rupanya jiwa dan batinku sengsara.

Liza sayang,
Kini kamu sudah berumur 20 tahun.
Kukira sudah cukup kau menyakiti dirimu sendiri angkara kau disakiti oleh orang lain.
Sayang, tidak berbaloi kau berbuat begitu.
Apakah patut kau terus merosakkan dirimu disebabkan dendammu pada dia???
Siapa dia untuk merosakkan dirimu???
Sungguh tidak matang jika kau berkelakuan demikian.

Liza sayang,
kembalilah.
kembalilah pada Allah yang sentiasa memerhatimu dengan penuh kasih sayang selama ini.
(walaupun kau melakukan banyak dosa di bawah pemerhatianNya).
kembalilah pada Allah yang telah menyelamatkanmu dari dunia itu.
bersyukurlah padaNya kerana masih belum terlambat untukmu kembali.

Liza sayang,
Allah uji kerana Allah sayang.
Allah mahu liza berubah.
Jadi kali ini, menangkanlah IMANmu atas yang lain.
Baik emosimu, perasaanmu, sangkaanmu, pengalamanmu, harapanmu.
Kerana liza sayang, IMAN tidak akan pernah menipumu. IMAN tidak akan pernah mengecewakanmu.
Percayalah, itu JANJI ALLAH.

Ya Allah,
syukur kupanjatkan padaMu atas segalanya.
syukur, syukur, syukur, kerana telah menyelamatkan aku.
ampunkanlah dosa-dosaku Ya Allah.
tetapkanlah hatiku dengan keputusanku ini.
permudahkanlah prosesnya Ya Allah.
ameen~

LIZA, YOU ARE 20 NOW.
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???
STILL DON'T WANT TO ANSWER HIS CALL???
YOU DECIDE!

P/S: thank you so much aitidal n syamim for the moments at secret recipe.
i luv u guys so much.seriously.
thanks for being there for me.
meera, thx for the wish and chat that we had on my bufday.
it's very enlightening=)
ama, laili, raihan, afiqah baby.
thanks 4 de wish.
luv u guys 2.
to all my sahabats and friends out there, i know you care for me though you haven't wish
me hepy bufday.i don't feel bad about that. maybe you guys are busy.
but, i know you'll always pray for me as i do, rite?
luv u guys 2.
salam syg semua=)

Aku sedang ditarbiyah!!!!

2010-02-17T15:39:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Alhamdulillah. Segala puji bagi Allah Tuhan seluruh alam.
Ya Allah, puji dan syukur kupanjatkan kepadaMu kerana sentiasa memberiku peluang untuk kembali kepadaMu.
Ya Allah, andai keperitan, kesusahan dan kegelisahan yang kualami kini merupakan kifarah atas dosa-dosaku, aku redha ya Allah.
Kerana aku sedar, aku yang teramat degil ini perlu ditarbiyah sedemikian rupa agar aku sedar kembali siapa aku.
Mungkin aku ini perlu ditarbiyah dengan rasa kekosongan, kehinaan, kekurangan dan kegentingan.

Ya Allah,
telah lama aku bersemayam di istana kerehatan, sampai aku lupa apa itu erti susah payah.
aku lupa yang setiap kejayaan itu perlu usaha yang bukan sedikit.
yang paling penting, tiada suatu hal yang kita rancang akan berlaku seperti yang kita mahu, melainkan Allah jualah yang menentukannya.

Ya Allah,
aku redha akan semua ini.
semua ini berlaku menuntut sebuah perubahan dalam diriku.
aku mesti berubah!!!!!
kecelaruan hidupku sebelum ini cuba untuk memberitahuku,
" Liza, hanya dengan kembali patuh & taat kepada Allah, kamu akan bahagia"
Ya aku sedar itu.

Ya Allah,
dalam aku meniti jalan pulangku ini,
berilah aku kekuatan dan kesabaran yang tinggi,
jauhkan diriku dari putus asa akan rahmat dan keampunanmu,
biarlah jahiliyahku berkubur di situ,
usah biarku mengenangnya terus menerus dan bersedih atasnya,
Ya Allah,
akan kucuba hilangkan rasa sesalku atas dosa-dosaku dengan melakukan kebaikan.
insyAllah=)

" Dan orang-orang yang berjihad untuk (mencari keredhaan) Kami, Kami akan tunjukkan kepada mereka jalan-jalan Kami. Dan sungguh, Allah beserta orang-orang yang berbuat baik. "

( Ar-Rum, 30:69 )

Waallahu'alam=)

He's calling me~

2010-01-29T16:24:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

pondering.
smile=)
dare to dream and work on your dreams!!!

Alhamdulillah.got it.
why am i retaking the same tests?
why am i having to face all these problems?
(excuse me, they are not problems, they are opportunities)
(yea, they are here to change my attitude!!!)

in short, He's calling me home.
" return girl, return "
" don't you miss Me?"

HOME sweet HOME=)
weee~
Thank you Allah=)

status : HOMEsick
HOME=islam^!^

Culture of EXCELLANCE~

2010-01-29T01:54:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Liza, you need to change ur ATTITUDE!!!
Please, please, please^!^
FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS!
you have GOALS, do you???

ikhlaskn NIAT,
put your BEST EFFORT,
b patient and persevering despites all obstacles and setbacks that come in,
it's all about MIND SET.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

after u TRY UR BEST,
let it to Allah.
it's His job to decide how your result would be.

so, liza dear=)

1, 2, 3....GO!!!!

WALK your TALK=)

2010-01-28T16:31:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Just came back from college.
tired.but, i enjoyed the classes.finally.wee~
i can see changes in most of us.
we are more serious in our studies.
don't want to repeat the same mistakes again.
for me myself, i'm more interested in my studies now.
just that my progress is quite slow compared to others.
so, need to increase the speed a bit i think=)

now, most of us are willing to sacrifice our leisure time for studies.
i'm grateful coz i have a circle of friends who are willing to guide and teach me.
thanks to nordin, faiz and yun for sharing ur experience.
insyAllah, will take note on that and follow ur advices=)

now, it's the time to be more focus!!!
please, no more playing the fool.
you have no time to waste.
be strong, keep working hard and smart.
put your best effort.so that u won't regret later.
believe me, it pays.
leave all those things which distract u from working on your dreams.
in fact, throw those things which stop you from moving on.

liza, if you have a dream, just go for it.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Ya Allah,
permudahkan urusanku.
pimpin dan peliharalah diriku.
semoga Engkau redha dan berkati usahaku ini Ya Allah.
ameen~

Bounce back girl, bounce!!!!

2010-01-27T23:58:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Alhamdulillah, seeking my trueself is alive again.
i have been leaving it untouched for quite a long time. pity my poor green blog.

it's already the end of jan 2010.
time flies so fast.
i just realize that i got another 5 months to go.
my 1 and half year in Taylors taught me a lot of things.
experience of a life time.
and i will never forget it.
here,
i was lost.
i cried.(most of the time)
i loved.
i hated.
i chilled.
i rebelled.
i found it.
i was lost again.
i found it again.
i'm given a last chance.
i'm learning.
i'm changing, insyAllah.

now, it's the time for me to decide.
the biggest decision ever in my life.
to stay in my lowest point, or to bounce back.
falling hurts.
but it's to make me strong.

need to stop being too emotional.
need to be more realistic.
i need a CHANGE in me.

Ya Allah,
if this is the amount that i have to pay for my sins, i accept it. positively insyAllah.
in this test actually, lies space for me to improve myself and correct my mistakes.
i know, You want me to be a better and wise person.
and i know, You need to make me suffer 1st, then only i remember You coz so far, in my comfort zone i have been putting You out of my life.
Ya Allah, forgive me.

Letting go my past time and moving on have been so hard for me,
but, now i promise myself, i will let them go and move on.
good bye mr black, ms emo, n friends.
i don't want you guys anymore.
go away from me.
i'm a new liza now.

life is no longer as empty, meaningless and confusing as before.
this time i want to try to follow Allah's way.
i'm tired of following other's.
in fact, none of them make my life happier.

i don't care what people want to say about me.
i don't care if they can't understand what i have been going through so far.
coz i believe that all these happened with reasons and Allah knows me better, He knows me inside out.
let them say, I CAN'T DO IT. but i will always believe that I CAN DO IT!!!

now, my life has a purpose.
to willingly submit myself to Allah, the only One who never betray me, never leave me, never discourage me, always there for me.

who says i have nobody with me???

i have,
Mak,
Abah,
Ema,
Nina,
Iros,
Dila,
family in Padang Luas & Pulau Bayur,
Sis shira,
my usrah (raihan, laili, syamim, aitidal, rahmah, mira, nurul, hasanah),
sahabats ( awin, ain, maryam),
best friend (idah),
lovely juniors (ain & fiqah),
a levels friends who care for me.
I love you guys.
You complete my life.
and of course Allah is always there for me=)

" Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods and lives or the fruits ( of your toil ), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere"

(2:155)

" Say : O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah : for Allah forgives all sins for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
" Turn you to Our Lord (in repentence) and bow to His (Will), before the Penalty comes on you : after that you shall not be helped."
" And follow the best of (the courses) revealed to you from your Lord, before the Penalty comes on you-of a sudden, while you perceive not!"

(39:53-55)

I'm aware that self-check without action is useless.
am i willing to make the effort?
YES, I AM.
insyAllah=)

WALK FORWARD, DON'T LOOK BACK.
NOW IS YOUR DAY.
LIVE IT.SMILE=)
alhamdulillah~

How Lucky I am if....

2009-11-12T23:55:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Alhamdulillah, i just finished my usrah after about 2 weeks i missed it.
I feel so much refreshed.
Just now, we discussed about surah Al-Ikhlas which is claimed to be one third of Al-Quran.
Now, only I realize why.
In this surah, lie the fundamentals of our aqidah.

Katakanlah (Muhammad), "Dialah Allah, Yang Maha Esa. Allah tempat meminta segala sesuatu. (Allah) tidak beranak dan tidak pula diperanakkan. Dan tidak ada sesuatu yang setara dengan Dia."

Surah Al-Ikhlas, 112:1-4

From this surah, i realize that actually our tauhid is the most holistic one compared to other religions.
Why?
Because our tauhid consists of 3 major things which are synonym to us.
1. Tauhid Ad-Dhamir(we feel that we need God in our life)
2. Tafsir Al-Wujud ( this universe is governed by Allah's system & The Earth is created for humans to be its khalifah, Habluminallah & Habluminannas)
3. Minhajun Hayat ( a way of life which suites our fitrah=Islam)

*any mistakes here, plz correct me yea.jazakillah=)

So, we muslims, if we claim so, should be grateful that we are choosing the best way of life which is Islam.
There are no other religions in this world which can fit these criteria of a holistic way of life.
But then, why we, the so-called muslim choose not to practise Islam entirely in our life
Let's think about it!!!

Just now, i consulted Sis Syahira about my concern on my tarbiyah.
I just feel that i'm lacking of so many things that i need to acquire as a muslimah.
My islamic fikrah(jati diri) is shaking and I'm so worry about that.
I can feel that I can't face this confusing world unless with my firm aqidah and complete understanding of my way of life=Islam.
She told me that the most important thing is mindset.
What am i searching for?
Why am i doing this?
What is my close reference in whatever i do in life?
She concluded that usrah is a way for me to be nutured and educated with Islamic fikrah.
But usrah is not just the sittings that we have every week but it starts when the sitting ends until we meet again the next sitting.
One more thing she stressed on is that we need to put extra effort in order to understand Islam as we do to understand Physics, Chemistry, Furthermaths etc.
We need to do 'homework', 'exercises', 'attend lectures' and etc.
So, why not we do the same to understand Islam, our saviour from hell fire in the future.

Ya Allah, please ease my way in seeking my trueself, seeking You.
I'm so afraid that i will lose this feeling again.
Ya Allah, please protect my heart from jahiliyah and maksiat.
Ya Allah, please make me always remember who am I, I'm Your slave and I got a mission to be accomplished.
Ya Allah, please make my heart sincere, pure and strong in finding You.
Ya Allah, I put all my hopes on You.
ameen~

Life that I've Wasted

2009-11-11T15:27:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

In the name of Allah, My Creator, My Rabb, My Benefactor, The One should I love=)

Praise and syukur to You Ya Allah,
for giving me hopes to continue this life again.
Life that i've wasted before.
Forgive me Ya Allah.

Now, I realize that life can be meaningful.
I'm here with a purpose.
To Obey Allah.
To enjoy life as Allah orders me to do.
Act, I have everything.
Allah who always there for me.
Mak and Abah who always love me.
Ema who always cheers me up.
Nina who always reminds me for my innocence.
Adek who always alert with my changes in life.
Nadhilah who always reminds me about our fitrah, clean from sins.

I have my sahabats who always support me.
Awin,
thank you for listening to my endless inner conflicts.
thank you for the time that you spent with me.
thank you for brighten up my days since we met.

Ain,
thank you for your concern.
thank you for your inspirational quotes.
thank you for teaching me the meaning of ukhwah.

Maryam,
jazakillah for everything.
though i just know you.
so sorry if i can't be a good sahabat to you.
thank you for your advices.
thank you for sharing with me the biah.
thank you for accompanying me when i have nobody to turn to.

Laili,
jazakillah sahabat.
i share a lot with you.
i learn a lot from you too.
" Hati dekat dgn Allah"
" Kekuatan itu dari Allah"
I will always remember that.
sorry for burdening you with my problems.
thank you for listening.
thank you for being there when i need someone to talk to.

Roy,
aku sayang kau.
though kita dah lame x spend mase sama2.
aku ingat lagi time aku bengong2 kau yang rajin layan cite aku.
ko ckp mmg selamba, tp penuh makna bg aku.
thank you for being my friend.
thank you for everything.

Faas,
miss u baby.
thank you for being my fren.
"don't dwell hard here. move on. got more chapters to go. colourful ones."
i like it.
love sharing experiences with you.
may Allah bless you always.

Faiz,
thank you for being my sahabat since we 1st came to taylors.
u know a lot bout me.
thank you for your support.
i really appreciate it.

A-Levels frens,
i learn a lot from u guys too.
forgive me for my conducts.
forgive me if i hurt anyone of u.

Myhousemates,

Dila,
Sowy for not being a good fren for you.
Sowy for that 'stupid incident'.
I did'nt mean it.
Please forgive me.

Anna,
Sowy for not being a good fren to you.
Sowy for not trying to understand u guys earlier.
I wish I could.
Please forgive me for that 'stupid incident' too.

Lynn,
Sowy for being judgemental to you.
I know you're a nice girl.
Hope you can find The Truth one day.
Will always pray that Allah will always protects you.
Your words that time taught me a lot of things.
Thank you.
Forgive me yea=)

Ain,
Thank you for the Pillow Talk that we had.
You cheers me up.
You make me realized that life has more things to offer.
You told me don't think too much, don't be sad, make friends.
"One thing that never changes in life is change itself"
" Kalau gi mana2 new place, cpt2 buat kawan, nti senang, lg pown kt c2 kita bkn ade sape2, kwnla tmpt kite share problems"
I will always remember that.
Thank you dear.

Fiqah baby,
hye............!!!!!!
that's wut you always say when you meet me.
nobody did that before.
hahaha=P
we share a lot of things.
laugh and tears.
gud luck in ur studies.
u can do it!!!
thank you babe=)

Ya Allah.
Act, my life is not as lonely and empty as I thought.
There are more things it can offer. Colourful ones.
I need to open my heart, see the world with my heart.
So, liza dear,
Let's start again.
It's a new beginning.
Good Luck!!!!

Aku Ingin Melihat Dunia Dengan Mata Hati

2009-11-11T00:47:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Astaghfirullahal'azim.
Astaghfirullahal'azim.
Astaghfirullahal'azim.

Ya Allah.
Aku lemah Ya Allah.
Aku tahu, aku yang pilih untuk berpaling dariMu.
Aku sedar, apa yang aku lakukan selama ini hanya mengikut nafsuku semata.
Aku kesal, aku lebih peduli apa mereka kata, dari apa yang Engkau pinta.

Ya Allah.
Selama ini aku melihat dunia dalam keadaan teraba-raba.
Aku keliru dengan dunia.
Aku turut perasaanku yang lara.
Aku isi kekosongan hidupku dengan sesuatu yang sia-sia lagi hina.

Ya Allah.
Jika inilah suratan takdirMu.
Aku redha.
Ya, kali ini aku redha.

Ya Allah.
Sentuhlah kembali hati ini untuk pulang kepadaMu.
Telah jauh.
Sungguh jauh.
Aku tersasar.
Hampir mati Ya Allah.

Ya Allah.
Beri aku harapan untuk mulakan lagi hidup ini.
Yang telah sekian lama aku rasa tidak beerti.
Aku tak tahu Ya Allah.
Apakah yang aku alami ini.
Cuma apa yang aku rasa ialah kecelaruan diri.
Celaru sangat Ya Allah.

Ya Allah.
Apalah erti keberadaan ku ini.
Ku tak pasti.
Ku amat perlukan bimbingan Ya Allah.
Bimbinglah hamba Ya Allah.
Pujuklah hati hamba Ya Allah.

Ya Allah.
Tiba-tiba, aku rasa hidup ini tiada erti.
Tiada apa yang bisa mengisi kekosongan hati ini.
Puas aku mencari.
Hingga aku terhenyak ke lembah hina.
Tapi, Kau masih sayang padaku Ya Allah.

Ya Allah.
Aku ingin melihat dunia dengan mata hati.
Merasa hidup berTuhankanMu Ya Allah.

Ya Allah.
Ajarku cara menjadi hambaMu.
Ajarku cara melaksanakan tanggungjawabku kepadaMu.
Ajarku cara untuk mencintaiMu dalam seluruh nafasku.

Ya Allah.
Aku ingin kembali.
Aku ingin berubah.
Aku sangat butuhkan keampunanMu.

Terimalah taubatku Ya Allah.
Pelihara hatiku yang liar ini.
Agar sentiasa mengingatiMu.
MerinduiMu.
MendahulukanMu dalam segala urusan.

Ya Allah.
Aku ingin melihat dunia dengan mata hati.
Kerana hanya dengan itu kutemui ketenangan.
Sungguh.
Sungguh.
Hanya dengan mengingatiMu hatiku tenang.

Ya Allah.
Aku rindu Kamu=)

Where's My U-turn???

2009-11-09T15:55:00.001+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Ya Allah.
I don't know why i'm feeling this way these last years.
I feel my life is empty.
No urge to move on in life.
I feel so hopeless.
It's so much different now.
Never thought of it before.

Free time is killing me.
Loneliness is making it even worst.
I need somebody to talk to.
To share my feelings and thoughts.
Yes, tarbiyah opens my eyes to a brighter side of life.
But, it takes time for me to digest that.
Even to make it works for me.

Ya Allah.
Thank you for all these tests.
But, my Rabb,
I just can't take it anymore.
Please guide me.
I did so many things wrongly.
Honestly, i feel so sad right now.
Feel like running away.
To find peace.
To find You.
This world is confusing me.

Ya Allah.
Change the way i see life.
Change the way i understand the purpose of me being here.
Let me see it from The Window of Islam.
Though people see it from many windows.
Broken windows.
Dusty windows.
Opaque windows.

Ya Allah.
Make me strong.
Make me not easily affected by what people say about me.
Make me patient in finding You.
Coz so far i haven't found You.
It's a long road.
Guide me Ya Allah.
Don't let me astray from this road.
Amin=)

Years of Loneliness

2009-11-02T12:01:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

ermm.
ups and downs in life.
they are always there.
that's life.
falling again?
hurt?
never mind=)
don't stop climbing.
continue dear.
with bigger hopes.
and this time be more alert.
watch out for any trap.
don't fall to it again.
ok?
=)

****************

Am i fated to be a lone ranger?
I always feel lonely.
Like stranded in an isolated island.
My heart is empty.
For so many years.
I tried to fill it with a man's love before.
I'm not happy though.

Then studying in this college making me lonely evenmore.
No friends' shoulder to cry on.
I can't stand this actually.
All the time, i'm the one who need to understand and please them.
But they never understand me.
You hurt me girls!!!

I'm an emotional person.
I see the world with my heart.
I think with my heart.
I decide everything with my heart.
That's where i always get trapped.
Trapped by my own heart.
Unguided heart.

I think Allah wants to teach me something.
That i should'nt bother to win people's love but win His love first.
His love is enough for me.
And you will never feel lonely.

Sometimes, i feel that life is nothing.
Life is full with injustice.
People themselves create this.
You can see it everywhere in this world.
People are going against their fitrah.
I think everybody feels this, but nobody shouts it out.
They just follow the flow.

Only Islam can save us.
From all this miseries.
From all this loneliness.
From all this emptiness of life.

I know it.
But I always get confused by the world.
I can't really see the beauty of Islam.
It's ' tenggelam dan timbul'.
The biah is not there.
So, should i go to somewhere that i can find the biah?
Or should i create the biah?
Can I do it??

It's all about removing all the stains of jahiliyah in myself.
I hate this world.
I feel like going to somewhere where i can find peace.
To treat my heart.
My heart hurts.
It's shouting to be filled with something.
and I haven't found it yet.

Should i wait???

waallahu'alam=)

I.H.S.A.N.=)

2009-10-29T14:43:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Praise and gratitude to Allah who never forget all His slaves though they always forget Him.
Though they know that only by remembering Him that we will find peace.
So, let us pause for a while=)
(beriman sejenak!!!)
Think of Allah.
Think of His gifts.
Think that all that we have are all from Him.
Actually, nothing is ours.
So, let say alhamdulillah=)
done??
thank you=)

********************

“Inform me about Ihsan.” He (the Messenger of Allah) answered, ” It is that you should serve Allah as though you could see Him, for though you cannot see Him yet He sees you.”

part of Hadis 2
reported by Muslim=)

Have you heard about IHSAN?
Do you know what does it mean?

For me,
IHSAN is something that i almost doesn't have it in myself.
My life before, tell me this.
That's why failures surrounded me.
That's why the non-muslims outshine me.
That's why Allah keeps giving me the same tests.
Now i know,
Allah wants to teach me about IHSAN which you will realize its significance when you understand IMAN and ISLAM with your heart not only your mind.
Alhamdulillah, at least i know my weakness.

In every single thing that we do in life, Allah wants us to do it with IHSAN.
To do something with IHSAN means, we do it our best.
We do it as we see Allah in front of us.
If we can't do this, always remember that Allah is watching us all the time.
Not even a single second that He miss.

So, what's my point??

Don't you think that by applying IHSAN in his/her life, a muslim should become a great and extraordinary person?

But most muslims don't realize this especially me.
What a waste right??

Sigh~

Sigh should come with improvements!!!!
Self-check is good but it is useless if nothing is done to correct our mistakes!!!!

So, brothers and sisters,
Let's change=)
Let's practise IHSAN in our life!!!!

How???

It's simple but not easy=)

From now on,
in anything that we do, let's do it our best.
No more playing the fool.
No more 'cincai-cincai' work.
No more 'malas-malas'.
Because we are MUSLIMS!!!
and MUSLIMS should be great!!!

and REMEMBER!!!!
Allah is watching us!!!
Are we doing our job?
Job??
Remember 'OUR JOB' ???

hint : 51:56

Last but not least,
"ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS"
=)

Wallahu'alam~

Erti Sebuah M.U.J.A.H.A.D.A.H.

2009-10-27T23:44:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Teringat petikan dari post sahabat saya di blognya,

" JAHILIYAH & ISLAM tidak boleh ada serentak dalam jiwamu "
" pilih SATU!!! "

" x boleh ek? " (nie saya tambah..hehe)

I made up my mind already.
I choose ISLAM.
You expect it right?
Not because i'm good, but each and everyone of us wants to do so one day.
When is your day, brothers and sisters??

Making decision is not easy.
But, to stick with your decision persistently and single-mindedly is even tougher.
ilmu=uderstanding, mujahadah=sacrifice, istiqamah=consistency, doa=prayer are all that you need=)

But, in the bitterness of mujahadah, sometimes, i can feel the sweetness of it.
Though, most of the time what i feel is just it's bitterness.
I believe that one day i can taste the sweetness of iman=)
ameen~

Now, before i do something, i really need to think first, whether Allah approves it or not.
This is what we call, "BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND" which i hardly practised before.
If yes, lucky me=)
If no, there will be conflicts in me.
Whether to follow my own desire or Allah's.
I have to put Allah 1st, then only others.

Ya Allah,
grant me Your love,
make me love those things which can win Your heart,
please and please fill my heart with Your love only,
so that i'm not longing for somebody else to fill my heart.
and I know loving You will not fade my love to my parents, siblings, sahabats, murabbi, friends and others.
Your love will make me love others even more.

Mujahadah is a fight!!!
Mujahadah is like having a war in your innerself.
Supposedly, IMAN should WIN and NAFS & EVILS should LOST.
So, the choice is in our hands!!!

" You cannot take MEDICINE and POISONS at the same time "
" You will DIE man!!!! "

simple phrase, but it tells everything about mujahadah.
Yeaa, you cannot take MEDICINE (Allah's orders) and POISONS ( nafs' and evils' orders) at the same time!!!!
Always keep that in mind liza!!!
You too, brothers and sisters.

May Allah give us strength to continue this FIGHT persistenly.
ameen~

p/s: to all sahabats, brothers and sisters who are struggling in the M.U.J.A.H.A.D.A.H. WAR.
gud luck=)
Allah will always look and reward our efforts.insyAllah~
" moga tetap hati, tak berbelah bagi "
salam ukwah fillah=P

Wallahu'alam~

The Return=)

2009-10-23T08:13:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

In the name of Allah The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful.
Thank you Allah. Thank you Allah. Thank you Allah.

Subhanallah~
Alhamdulillah~
Allahuakbar=)

Rain begins to stop.
The Sun is smiling to me=P
Rainbow gives me hope.
Yesterday's thunderstorms have stopped.
Alhamdulillah and Astaghfirullah that's all i can say=)

Ya Allah,
You love me so much.
How dare i just neglected You like that!!!!
I entered that DARK ROOM, though You called and stopped me for so many times.

Ya Allah,
There's nothing in that DARK ROOM.
You are wright.
How dare i did'nt believe You!!!

Forgive me Ya Allah.
I know I'm totally wrong.
I know it was a way for You to tell me this.
Thank you Allah.
I really appreciate it.
May be to this extend only i realize that You are always there.
You are always here for me.
You are here to forgive me.

Ya Allah,
Please and please accept MY RETURN.
I have no where to go=(
Please accept me Ya Allah=(
and I believe that You will=)

=)

Dari Anas radiyallahu 'anh katanya:
Aku dengar Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda:
" Allah berfirman : HAI ANAK ADAM! SESUNGGUHNYA ENGKAU, SELAMA ENGKAU BERHARAP KEPADAKU, AKU AMPUNI BAGI ENGKAU DI ATAS DOSA YANG ADA PADA ENGKAU DAN AKU TIADA PEDULI. HAI ANAK ADAM! KALAU TELAH SAMPAI SEKALIAN DOSA ENGKAU KE AWAN LANGIT, KEMUDIAN ITU ENGKAU MEMOHON KEAMPUNANKU, NESCAYA AKU AMPUNI BAGI ENGKAU. HAI ANAK ADAM! SESUNGGUHNYA KALAU ENGKAU DATANG KEPADAKU DENGAN KESALAHAN-KESALAHAN SEPENUH BUMI (INI) KEMUDIAN ITU ENGKAU MENEMUI AKU PADAHAL TIADA ENGKAU MEMPERSEKUTUKAN AKU DENGAN SESUATU, NESCAYA AKU BERIKAN KEPADA ENGKAU KEAMPUNAN DENGAN SEPENUH BUMI. "

Diriwayatkan oleh al-Tirmizi.
Hadis ke-42~

=)

Katakanlah, " Wahai hamba-hambaKu yang melampaui batas terhadap diri sendiri! Janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa semuanya. Sungguh, Dialah Yang Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang".

Dan kembalilah kamu kepada Tuhanmu, dan berserah dirilah kepadaNya sebelum datang azab kepadamu, kemudian kamu tidak dapat ditolong.

Dan ikutilah sebaik-baik apa yang telah diturunkan kepadamu (Al-Quran) dari Tuhanmu sebelum datang azab kepadamu secara mendadak, sedang kamu tidak menyedarinya.

agar jangan ada orang yang mengatakan, " Alangkah besar penyesalanku atas kelalaianku dalam (menunaikan kewajipan) terhadap Allah, dan sesungguhnya aku termasuk orang-orang yang memperolok-olokkan (agama Allah) ".

atau (agar jangan) ada yang berkata, " Sekiranya Allah memberi petunjuk kepadaku tentulah aku termasuk orang-orang yang bertakwa."

atau (agar jangan) ada yang berkata ketika melihat azab, " Sekiranya aku dapat kembali (ke dunia), tentu aku termasuk orang-orang yang berbuat baik."

Sungguh, " sebenarnya keterangan-keteranganKu telah datang kepadamu, tetapi kamu mendustakannya, malah kamu menyombongkan diri dan termasuk orang kafir."

Az-Zumar, 39: 53-59

Ya Allah,
sungguh indah caraMu memujukku.
sungguh tepat caraMu mengingatkanku tentang azabMu.

" ikutilah sebaik-baik apa yang diturunkan kepadamu (Al-Quran)"

InsyAllah, aku akan cuba.
Cuba sedaya upaya.
Beri aku kekuatan ya Allah.
Mujahadah!!!!!
Istiqamah!!!!
Mardhatillah!!!

In the name of Allah,
The Return begins~

Ini Kisah Kawan Saya=(

2009-10-21T09:34:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim~

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyayang.
Alhamdulillah, kerana aku masih di sini.
Masih bernafas dengan 'oksigen' Mu.
Takkan ku hirup 'carbon dioxide' itu lagi.
Dadaku sesak olehnya.
Rasa mahu mati.

*********************

Aku sangka dia sama seperti akhawat yang lain.
Tidak mempunyai kisah hitam sepertiku.
Rupa-rupanya dia juga punya kisah.
Jauh lebih hitam. Kelam.

*********************

Segalanya bermula selepas SPM.
Kawanku yang berasal dari sekolah berasrama penuh ini tercari-cari siapa dirinya.
Tidak mahu lagi menjadi seorang gadis 17 tahun yang selalu dianggap alim dan sukar didekati oleh lelaki.
Seumur hidupnya, tidak pernah ada lelaki yang meluahkan rasa cinta kepadanya.
Tidak seperti kawan-kawannya yang lain.
Mesti ada punyalah.
Sedikit demi sedikit dia semakin kurang percaya diri.
Tak adakah lelaki yang ingin kepadaku?Buruk sangatkah aku?
Baginya lelaki ni, kalau mahu cari pasangan mesti yang cantik.
Tak cantikkah dia?
Aku rasa dia manis orangnyer.

Dia juga perempuan biasa. Punya keinginan. Mencintai dan dicintai oleh insan yang bernama lelaki.
Tiba-tiba, lelaki menjadi isu besar dalam hidupnya.
Tiba-tiba.
Tanpa dia sedar.
Dia turutkan sahaja.
Dia begitu obses untuk menjadi cantik.
Baginya, bila dia cantik, mesti ada lelaki yang mahukan dia.

Dari seorang yang berpakaian simple dan menutup aurat, dia menjadi lebih bergaya.
Jeans mula dibelinya. Baju semakin ketat. Make-up pown mula ditempelnya ke muka.
Cermin mata kini tiada lagi. Maklumlah, pakai 'contact lens' kan lebih cantik.
Ya, memang dia cantik sekarang.
Tapi, bagiku dulu dia lebih cantik.
Cantik dengan akhlaknya.
Kawanku ini pemalu orangnye, kalau nak bercakap dengan lelaki, usah mimpi la.
Sopan dan manis .
Kawan, aku rindu kamu yang dulu=(

3 bulan selepas SPM,
dia berkenalan dengan seorang lelaki.
Dari MySpace katanya.
Perkenalan yang simple dan 'famous' masa kini.
Dari sembang di internet, mereka berkenalan di telefon.
Kemudian jumpa. Kemudian 'couple'.
Kemudian dia ditinggalkan.
Dia 'frust' sangat2.
Dia sudah lakukan segalanya untuk dapat cinta lelaki itu.
Segalanya.
Termasuk menyerahkan kesuciannya.
Ya Allah, macam mana boleh jadi begini.
Maafkan kawanku ini ya Allah.

Kini dia amat2 menyesal.
Aku tahu itu kerana kini dia sedang menangis di hadapanku.
Kawanku, seandainya aku dapat memujukmu.
Aku faham apa yang kau alami.
Tapi, kita sebagai perempuan tidak boleh terus bodoh begitu.
Itukan kisah lamamu.
Jangan risau sayang, kisah silam itu takkan menghalangmu berlari di jalan ini.
Teruskan berlari sayang.
Kalau kau jatuh aku ada di sisi untuk bantu kau bangun.
Kami sama2 menangis.

Ramai yang masih x percaya dan yakin dengan pasti, yang jodoh ini di Tangan Allah.
Ramai yang kata percaya, tapi dalam hati tidak.

Ramai juga yang tidak percaya, bahawa LELAKI YANG BAIK UNTUK PEREMPUAN YANG BAIK.
Tidak sabar mungkin.
Justeru, mereka jadi gelisah.
Gelisah mencari.
Gelisah mengubah diri menjadi seperti yang diidamkan atau diterima pasangan.
Huhh~
Aku semakin lemas dengan isu ini.

Ya Allah, berikanlah CINTAMU kepadaku,
Jadikanlah orang yang MENCINTAIMU mencintai aku, dan jadikanlah aku mencintai segala sesuatu yang membawa kepada KECINTAANMU.
Ameen~

Aku tenang lepas baca doa ini=)

Pembaca sekalian, kisah kawan saya ini bukan kisah terpencil.
Kisah ini banyak berlaku.
Dan terus berlaku.
Kalau anda punya kawan sebegini, beri dia 'support'.
Sedarkan dia.
Apa yang dia fikir itu cuma andaian semata.
Hidup ini bukan saja pasal lelaki.
Bak kata sahabat saya, there are a lot more chapters to go.
colourful ones=)
So, be happy k.
And happiness is always there with things approved by Allah.
Not, in things that Allah forbids.
Get me??
=)

Waallahu'alam~

yeAy!!! RaYA DAtaNg LAgi:D

2009-09-15T09:29:00.014+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Time flies so fast.

Hari Raya is coming soon.

May Allah gives us the chance to feel it once again this year.

This is my 19th Hari Raya.

This year, I don't want it to be like my previous ones.

I want to celebrate it meaningfully this year, not meaninglessly as before.

Now I realized that Hari Raya is not just about DUIT RAYA, BAJU RAYA, KUIH RAYA & PERABOT RAYA.

It has more to give us. Not just the fun but the values too.

*HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI*

It is celebrated every year. But, do we know why we are celebrating it?

FITRI=fitrah.

What does it have to do with fitrah?

Lol, what does it mean?

It means....

We are celebrating it for our success in returning ourselves to our fitrah.

Fitrah??

Yes, fitrah. Our pure fitrah.

Even more confused, lol.

Wait, i'll explain more.

Do you know that Allah created us with fitrah?

To love Allah is a fitrah.

To obey Allah is a fitrah.

To love good deeds is a fitrah.

To love other things more than Allah is not a fitrah.

To disobey Allah is not a fitrah.

To do what Allah forbids is not a fitrah.

To take Allah's gift for granted without syukur is not a fitrah.

So, what??

Ramadhan that we've been going through for 30 days is a training provided by Allah to return us to our fitrah.

Don't you realize that we are far away from it now?

So many things that we did which go against our own fitrah.

For Allah so loves us, He gives us Ramadhan to purify ourselves.

Nikmat mana lg yang mahu kau dustakan??

Ramadhan purifies us? How's that?

Yea la. For one month, we fast from dawn till sunset by not eating and drinking and abstaining ourselves from doing things that can make our fast invalid or reduce its bless.

Hunger during the day teaches us to appreciate food more.

If before this we live to eat, then we learn that actually we eat to live.

Here, Islam is teaching us to eat what we need not what we want.

From hunger, we know how do the poor people feel when they have nothing to eat for the whole day.

Hunger is a good thing too.

A wise man once said, " jika laparlah perutmu, maka kenyanglah akalmu, hatimu, tanganmu, kakimu dan seluruh anggotamu ".

It means that hunger can initiate progress for our brain, purify our heart and abstain us from doing bad things or it simply means it trains our nafs to follow Allah's rule.

I know you might say hunger can make people do crime like stealing for food.

Here, we, muslims are different.

We stand hunger in Ramadhan for Allah's sake.

And we are not fasting because there is no food to eat, but it's because Allah tells us to do so.

How powerful is that, when you have food to eat, but you choose not to because of Allah.

So, we muslims should use this same skill to abstain ourselves from what Allah forbids us to do.

We choose to cover our aurat when others uncover their's.

We choose to pray 5 times a day when others don't.

We choose to be firm with our Islamic Identity/Fikrah while others don't for whatsoever reasons.

We choose not to go for prompt, party and clubbing though people think we are outdated.

Brothers and sisters, here Ramadhan is teaching us that:

As Muslims, WHATEVER WE DO IN LIFE, IT IS FOR ALLAH AND WE SHOULD NEVER DO WHAT ALLAH FORBIDS US TO DO.

Hope all of us can accept this=)

Then, Ramadhan purifies us through the ibadah that we do throughout this month.

For every ibadah that we do, Allah promises us with great rewards and forgiveness.

QIYAM :

-train us to wake up early in the morning while other people are still snoring on their bed
-give us innerpeace through communication with Allah, here we tell Allah what we feel, the problem that we have and the sins that we commit.

-make us realize that Allah is always there for us, we just need to pray to Him and put all our hopes on Him.

-i start to love it=)

QURAN RECITATION :

-i just realized how wonderful is our Quran, it is a love letter from Allah, Allah is talking to you & me

-give me innerpeace too and always consult me when i'm down

-guide me on how should i lead my life since i always get confused by this world

-from now on, we should make this Quran our best friend and teacher

TERAWIKH :

-for me personally it teaches me to watch on my time so that it is spent for doing things which have value for Allah

-because normally after maghrib prayer, i used to 'lepak' and end up doing nothing

-teach me the value of patience in doing ibadah

ZIKRULLAH :

-now i agree that only by remembering Allah that we find peace

-when we always remember Allah and always put Allah first, there is less chance for us to commit sins

-don believe me?try it k=)

Brothers and sisters,

this is basically how Ramadhan purifies us and return us to our fitrah which is LOVE TO BE CLOSE TO ALLAH AND LOVE TO OBEY ALLAH.

May the effects of Ramadhan stay in us throughout the year until we meet it again next year.

Let us celebrate Hari Raya with full of syukur to Allah and don't ruin it by doing nonsense.

Feel it with your hearts, how nice, how peace, how pure for us to return to our FITRAH.

SeLaMat HarI RayA,

Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Waallahu'alam~

Focus!!!

2009-09-10T10:35:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim......

Alhamdulillah, AS Trial is over.
But, I'm not satisfied with it. My effort, i mean.
I can feel that I'm not going to score this time too.
It's ok. No use if i were to regret now.
Focus!!!
Be serious liza. This is about your future.
This is your last chance to prove your capabilities.
I know you are trying hard, but you just not done enough.
Work harder & smarter.

Plus, it's just 3 subjects for you to sit.
Maths, Physics, & Chemistry.
You can do it. Believe me=)
You just need to focus on them. Love them.
Ilmu Allah, never finish to be learned but learning them will make us know Him more.
No more wasting time.
You have a mission!!!
A very important one.
Don't you??

Holidays just started.
It's about 2 weeks.
12-27 of September.
But for me it's not even 2 weeks.
Some more, I need to come back 2 days earlier 4 SAT classes.
No more weekends after this.
Ermm, it's ok dear. For your own good:D

I'm praying hard that I can use these holidays to the max.
Need study plan. Should get one=)
Must finish revision for the 3 subjects.
Must do past years.
InsyAllah, I'll try my best.
Ya Allah, permudahkan segala urusanku.
Tetapkan hatiku dgn awlawiyatku=)

Liza, dear.
Exam2 jugak.
But, don't forget, Ramadhan is leaving us soon!!!
Continue in searching Allah's forgiveness & bless.
Pray to Him. He knows you best. He always gives you the best.
Know who you are to Him. You are His slave. Full time slave.
May this Ramadhan be the turning point of my life.
I'm working to be a true muslimah.
insyAllah=)

LIZA, FOCUS!!!
YOU HAVE A MISSION!!!!

My dear SISTERS, let join us=)

2009-09-04T12:55:00.010+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Alhamdulillah, now we reach the middle of Ramadhan and soon it will leave us.

Well done, to all of you who had fill the 1st half of Ramadhan with ibadah and self-improvements. May Allah bless all of you. Ameen~

Now, we have about 16 days to go!!!

Let us use this remaining days to do more ibadah which will bring us closer to Allah and make us a better muslim. It's never too late, brothers and sisters=)

To all my dearest SISTERS in Taylors',

We have something for you=)

IFTAR & IKTIKAF @ MASJID SUNWAY.

Not just a normal iftar.

We have games & sharing sessions too!!!

Come & join us.

You will feel the difference.hehe=P

p/s: it's free and transport will be provided. so, don't worry k=)

any inquiries plz contact us.

salam~

I'll Always be a Learner=)

2009-09-04T00:45:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim........

Alhamdulillah. Praise to Allah The Most Merciful.
All the sorrow that i know melted away. Then a heroin in me comes along with the strength to carry on. InsyAllah=)

Now, I'm walking to a NEW WORLD. As a NEW COMER , I should be humble (know who am I) and willing to learn from others. I should take this opportunity to learn the skills needed to live in this NEW WORLD. I think I have the spirit and ideas but they have the knowledge and experience. So, why not we help each other instead of pointing out others' weaknesses.
Be patient, dear. It's normal. Don't let the differences between us divides us, but let it makes us unique. Differences are there to give us the colours of this NEW WORLD.

" i'm a NEW COMER. forget me plz for my conducts. plz correct me if i'm wrong. i just get 2 know all these things, so kind of excited. i'm willing to learn from you all. i'll always be a learner. insyAllah. "

********************************

Now, I'm getting myself clearer of the PURPOSE OF MY LIFE.
Alhamdulillah, now, all the jahilliyah thoughts hardly come and I'm able to get rid most of the useless fears and worries in me.
I'm no longer mourning and regretting my past.
I'm a new person. Though it's hard for me to change these parts of me.
I'm trying to be realistic.
I question less and listen more.
I do question more but for necessary things only.

*********************************

My dreams are sky high.
I know it's possible.
It's a choice.
Choose to be or not to be.
Allah will never change the fate of a person, until the person herself makes efforts to change it.

*********************************

Make ISLAM stands in YOU, then only YOU stands for ISLAM.
Don't take the MUSLIM title for granted.
There must be reasons why Allah loves MUSLIM so much not the KUFR.
Do you deserve that love??

Waallahu'alam~

Bila CINTA Di ' MONYET ' kn oleh kita

2009-08-08T23:56:00.005+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....

Segala puji bg Allah Tuhan Seluruh Alam.

CINTA? Apakah yang terlintas dalam fikiran kita bila ditanyakan tentang CINTA?
Kenapa semua orang suka bercakap soal CINTA? Kenapa ada yang senyum sorang2 bila ditanya soal CINTA? Kenapa CINTA menjadi isu 'evergreen' dr dlu hingga sekarang? Ada apa dengan CINTA?

Sejujur-jujurnya, saya sendiri pun sangat suka bercakap soal CINTA, ingin berCINTA dan pernah berCINTA.
Adakah salah untuk mempunyai rasa CINTA?
Adakah salah jika menCINTAI sesuatu?
Begitu kejamkah ISLAM hingga kita tidak boleh berCINTA?
Jom, kawan2 kita cari jawapannya sama2=)

Sebelum itu, apa itu CINTA bagi kita? Saya nak kita semua jawab dengan jujur dari hati ye, tak nak jawapan yang skema2.
CINTA is a very subjective feeling. It depends on HOW we DEFINE 'CINTA' .
Ada orang kata, CINTA=cinta seorang lelaki kepada seorang perempuan & vice versa
Ada juga orang kata , CINTA=cinta pada kepuasaan, kejayaan, kekayaan (fly, high-paid career,wealth)
Ada juga sebilangan kecil yang kata, CINTA=cinta kepada Allah Sang Pencipta CINTA
(walaupun dianggap pelik bagi sesetengah pihak).

Apapun definisi CINTA bg kita, yang penting, CINTA itu FITRAH manusia. CINTA itu bisa membius pencintanya. CINTA itu menyebabkan pencintanya resah bila tidak bertemu dan suka bila disuruh. CINTA itu membuatkan kita BAHAGIA walaupun di mata orang kita sengsara. Begitu hebat CINTA ni ye=)

Ok. Enough of ayt bunga2.
Jadi, sekarang saya nk ajak diri saya sendiri dan kawan2 semua fikir luas sikit pasal CINTA ni.
Takdela bila disebut CINTA aje, kita terbayangkan " if i were in love with that guy, if i were married to that guy, or beshnyer memori couple kita ".

Kawan2, pernah tak kita terpikir kenapa Allah beri kita perasaan CINTA?
Jawapannya kerana CINTA itu HEBAT.
Kenapa HEBAT?
Sebab, secara FITRAHnya, bila kita CINTAkan sesuatu, kita sanggup berkorban dan melakukan apa sahaja demi CINTA kita.
Sebab, CINTA bisa membuatkan kita bersabar dan bahagia biarpun pelbagai dugaan perlu ditempuh.

Since, CINTA ini sangat HEBAT, soalnya, kepada siapa CINTA ini harus kita CURAHkn?
1. KEKASIH, yang belum tentu menjadi suami atau isteri kita or SUAMI/ISTERI, yg halal dicintai dan dirindui
2. STUDY, yang menyebabkan kita tidak berfikir mengenaI hal lain, yang difikirkan hanyalah nak fly, nk fly n nk fly=)
3. KAWAN2, yang belum tentu bersama kita senang dan susah
4. IBUBAPA, yang menyayangi kita dari kita sebesar botol hinggalah sebesar sekarang
5. RASULULLAH, yang bila sedang menghadapi sakaratul maut, masih mnyebut 'ummati, ummati, ummati=umatku, umatku, umatku'
6. ALLAH, yang jika nak dihitung nikmatnya, pasti tidak akan terhitung oleh kita

Kawan2, anda jawab sendiri!!!

Kawan2, saya nak anda semua tahu, saya menulis ni, bukan untuk memaksa kawan-kawan ubah definisi CINTA anda.
Saya sendiri pown sedang cuba digest perkara ini. Jadi apa salahnya kita digest sama2 kn?TQ=)

Anda perasan tak sekarang manusia sudah tidak menghargai perasaan CINTA yang Allah beri?
Anda setuju tak kalau saya cakap manusia kini sudah me'MONYET'kn CINTA mereka?
Mereka senang-senang je bagi CINTA dekat org yang tak sepatutnya.
Mereka berCINTA sakan sampai lupe siapa DIRI, lupe PARENTS, lupe STUDY, dan lebih teruk lupe ALLAH.
Kawan2, ini bukan tujuan Allah beri kita rasa CINTA.

Haah!!
Jadi tak boleh berCINTA?
Kene campak jauh2 rasa CINTA ni?
Mana bolehh!!!!

Tidak sama sekali. Allah tak sekejam itu.
Bila CINTA kepada berlainan jantina itu datang, anda perlu hargainya kerana itu membuktikan anda normal.
Simpan perasaan itu dalam hati dan jangan pernah luahkan kepada si dia.
Kerana, ini belum masanya untuk anda lestarikan CINTA itu.
Kenapa plak?
Kerana anda belum ada kapasiti.
Maksud kapasiti di sini ialah apa yang anda boleh buat sekarang jika CINTA anda itu dilestarikan sekarang.
Anda masih study, dia masih study, dua2 pown sponsors n makbapak yang tanggung.Betul x?
Jadi, jika anda berCINTA sakan sekarang, anda pastikah yang anda akan kahwin dengan dia?
Fikir2kanlah=)

Ok. But coupling is now a trend. I don't want to be left out.
For me, it's ok to be left out, coz coupling is not worth it.

Ok. But he/she inspires me to excel in my study?
It's simple. Sudah tidak adakah sumber inspirasi lain di dunia ini.
Allah, parents.Anyone??

Ok. But i really want to marry him/her.
If so, good. But don't ruin him/her by coupling but nikahilah dia when u r ready.

Before i end, i leave you guys with something to ponder=)

" JANGAN PERNAH BERCINTA DENGAN LELAKI/PEREMPUAN YANG BUKAN HAKMU SELAGI CINTA ALLAH, RASUL, IBUBAPA, GURU2, KAWAN2 BELUM ANDA HARGAI "

" YAKINLAH, BAHAGIA ITU HANYA ADA PADA PERKARA YANG DIHALALKAN OLEH ALLAH. SO, COUPLE BOLEH BAHAGIA?"

" CINTAILAH ALLAH, NISCAYA KAMU TAKKAN PERNAH KECEWA DAN BAHAGIALAH HIDUPMU "

Wallahu'alam~

Where's the HEROIN in ME??

2009-08-04T21:26:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....

Long time never write here. Taking my own sweet time to digest new things that I get.
Until one day, my sahabat asked me to express anything that i feel here.
She said, do not wait until you understand it as a whole.
Just express it here, maybe others can help you to digest it better=)

Now, I feel so uncertain. I don't know why, but i know there's something wrong over 'here'.
Sometimes, i feel like starting a new life but sometimes, 'it' hold me back.
I still remember what my sisters and sahabats keep telling me over n over again.
In life, there are only 3 days:

# YESTERDAY : u can do nothing to change it
# TODAY : most important ( use it to the max )
# TOMORROW : let it to Allah coz we don't know we'll be there or not but doesn't mean that u can't plan 4 it.

To be honest, now i feel like i am somebody else. Not the brave and strong LIZA anymore.
So many things happened these last two years which lower down my self-confidence.
I got dreams. Sometimes, they seem so far away from me.
I feel like running away from people and most of the time from problems.
I know all these TESTS should make me stronger coz Allah Himself is testing me.
I remember what K. Shira told me:

" In life, there are so many turning points. This is one of your turning points."
" Liza wake up, step up and move on "

I miss the old LIZA who used to be confidence in herself.
I miss the old LIZA who used to be the best among the best.
I miss the old LIZA who knew what she's doing.
I miss the old LIZA who had passion towards her study.

But,
I know the old liza did not know the purpose of her creation.
I know the old liza was so innocent about TRUE LOVE.
I know the old liza talk more than work.

Ya Allah, give me faith in You.
Ya Allah, make me stay in ISLAM.
Ya Allah, teach me to become a true MUSLIM.
Ya Allah, give me sahabats who will b with me in this path.

Good to listen=)

Theres a hero

If you look inside your heart

You dont have to be afraid

Of what you are

Theres an answer

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

Its a long road

When you face the world alone

No one reaches out a hand

For you to hold

You can find LOVE

If you search within yourself

And the emptiness you felt

Will disappear

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

and you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

Lord knows

Dreams are hard to follow

But dont let anyone tear them away

Hold on

There will be tomorrow

In time

You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

That a hero lies in you

That a hero lies in

You=)

Waallahu'alam~

Mengapa aku masih mencintai dia???

2009-06-09T12:29:00.005+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.......

Al-kisah.....
Ada seorang perempuan yang baru sahaja mahu mengenal TuhanNya yang selama ini dia sering lupakan. Perempuan ini baru sahaja menyedari tujuan hidupnya yang sebenar, sudah faham dan masih berusaha untuk faham dgn betul2 tujuan hidupnya.

Dalam dia gigih berusaha untuk mencari CINTA Tuhannya, cinta lamanya masih mekar bersemi. Bersemi untuk seorang lelaki yang tidak mungkin faham apa yang dia faham sekarang. Lebih malang lagi, lelaki itu bukan seorang muslim yang taat kpd Allah dan dapat membimbing dirinya untuk terus dalam jalan tarbiyah ini.( lelaki itu tidak tahu solat, pernah berzina, telah berapa kali bercouple dan merokok secara aktif).
Pendek kata, tidak ada ciri2 lelaki budiman idaman seorang muslimah pada dirinya. Cuma, lelaki itu pernah memberitahunya bahawa dia ingin berubah. Tapi, selepas dia berkahwin dengan perempuan itu nanti. Dan ini jugalah sebab utama perempuan ini berkenalan dengan lelaki itu pada mulanya. Untuk membimbing dia ke jalan Allah. Tapi lain pula jadinya, cinta nafsu lebih kuat dari niat murni mereka.

Kini, dalam keadaan dirinya baru melangkah dalam dunia tarbiyah, persoalan2 ini meracun hatinya, meragut lenanya pada malam hari.
Perempuan ini selalu bertanya pada dirinya sendiri,
" Mengapa walau dia seteruk itu, aku masih mencintainya? Masih cinta walaupun sudah berada dalam tarbiyah. Adakah sebab dia cinta pertamaku?"

Lalu dia pun terfikir apakah yang boleh dia harapkan daripada cintanya ini.
" Mungkinkah satu hari nanti dia akan mendapat hidayah dari Allah, lalu aku dapat bahagia bersamanya? "
" Dapatkah aku yang masih bertatih ini membantunya kembali ke jalan Allah?Atau mungkin aku yang akan tergelincir sama? Ya Allah, aku buntu."
" Haruskah aku tinggalkan dia, sedang aku tahu dia sedang berlumuran dosa?Patutkah aku pergi jauh darinya untuk mnyelamatkan diriku dan memantapkan imanku dahulu? Ya Allah aku tak tahu."

Lelaki itu benar-benar serius mencintainya dan ingin berkahwin dengannya. Perempuan itu juga.
" Tetapi cukupkah cinta sahaja sebagai sandaran perkahwinan mereka? "
" Bolehkah perempuan itu terus kekal dalam tarbiyah selepas kahwin nanti, atau suaminya akan menjadi penghalang kepada niatnya? "
" Realistikkah seorang isteri untuk membimbing suaminya? Adakah suaminya benar-benar mahu berubah selepas berkahwin? "

Tambahan pula, keluarga perempuan itu tidak merestui perhubungan mereka.
Kerana lelaki itu hanya bekerja sebagai 'aircond' man dan pelajarannya hanya tahap sijil. Perempuan itu pula bakal mengambil ijazah di luar negara. Pelik bukan. Bagaimana mereka boleh jatuh cinta. Perempuan itu juga berasa pelik. Tapi jujur, dia tidak tahu kenapa dan bagaimana ini terjadi pada dirinya.

Mereka pernah bercouple dan baru sahaja putus kerana terpaksa. Kini, mereka hanya kawan dan masih berhubungan melalui sms dan phone call. Tapi hanya sebagi kawan. Tapi mereka masih saling mencintai. Dalam masa berkawan dgn lelaki itu selepas break, perempuan itu merasa dia tidak dapat menganggap lelaki itu sebagai kawan. Sayang dan cemburu masih beraja di hati.

" Apa yang patut aku buat sekarang? Tinggalkan dia buat selama-lamanya? Bagaimana harus aku terangkan padanya? Aku telah banyak kali suruh dia jangan contact aku, tapi aku yang contact dia semula. Kini aku malu untuk cakap padanya yang aku mahu stop semua ini secara total. Ya Allah, bantulah aku membuat keputusan dan tindakan~ "

p/s : Kepada anda semua, harap dapat drop comment mengenai kisah ini. Semoga kita sama2 dapat berkongsi cara penyelesaiannya. Thanks=)

Aku TIDAK MALU bermula DARI BAWAH

2009-05-25T12:12:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim......

Kehidupan di Taylors College dan Casa Subang telah banyak mengajar aku erti hidup.
Sekarang aku sedar siapa aku, tiada apa yang perlu dibangga-banggakan. Banyak lagi kawan-kawanku di sini yang hebat-hebat dan menjadi sumber inspirasiku.
Bak kata cerdik pandai, " di atas satu langit, ada langit yang lain ".
Aku sedar aku perlu berubah dan belajar.
Aku perlu belajar merangkang dahulu, bertatih dan berjalan, kemudian baru berlari.
Mana mungkin aku hendak terus bisa berlari. Kerana sudah sunnatullah begitu. Semuanya berperingkat-peringkat=)

Banyak yang perlu diperbaiki, dipelajari, difahami dan diamati.
Aku TIDAK MALU untuk BERMULA DARI BAWAH.
Apa yang nak dimalukan, setiap yang hebat bermula dari bawah juga.
Ya Allah, bagiku kekuatan untuk memerangi diriku sendiri.
Terlalu banyak yang perlu disucikan dari jiwa ini.
Cabaran yang terbesarku kini ialah HAWA NAFSUku sendiri.
Ia masih belum MAHU TUNDUK pada SYARIATMU.

Terbaca satu artikel yang sesuai dengan diri waktu ini.
Diselitkan ayat Allah yang berbunyi begini.

" Dan orang-orang yang berjihad untuk ( mencari keredhaan Kami ) benar-benar Kami akan menunjukkan kepada mereka jalan-jalan Kami. " (29 : 69)

Aku ingin menjadi orang yang berjihad itu.
Berjihad dengan sebenar-benar jihad.
Sesungguhnya melawan hawa nafsu itu juga jihad.

Untuk melawan hawa nafsu kita perlu kenal ia terlebih dahulu.
Ada tiga tahap.
Nafsu ammarah (selalu menyuruh kpd kejahatan)
Nafsu lawwamah (terumbang-ambing antara kebaikan dan kejahatan)
Nafsu mutmainnah (hati yang tenang dan damai mengabdikan diri kepada Allah)

Aku berada di tahap yang kedua.
Ingin sekali aku berada di tahap yang ketiga.
Ya Allah bantu aku kesana.
Beri aku kekuatan dan kesabaran.
Kerana jalan ini bukan untuk orang-orang yang manja seperti aku.
Perlu pengorbanan untuk kesana.

Ku ulang pada diriku sendiri.
Liza, JANGAN KAU MALU UNTUK BERMULA DARI BAWAH.

Wallahu'alam~

Mencari~

2009-05-06T22:10:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim......

Hidup bagaimanakah yang engkau rasa bahagia

Penuh makna ada cita

Diri yang sudah tidak lagi punya pertimbangan

Menerima apa sahaja
Dalam pencarian menentukan arah tujuan

Berbekalkan hanya perasaan

Hanya mengikut arus perjalanan rakan-rakan

Juga gaya teman-teman
Wahai sekalian rakan

Dengarlah, ini pesanan

Kami adalah teman

Yang inginkan kebaikan
Pencarianmu itu

Tak ada kesudahannya

Jika kau tak bertanya

Pada Tuhan yang memberikan jawapan
Telah dinyatakan tujuan kita diciptakan

Bukan untuk ini semua

Masa depan agama dan nasib yang tak terbela

Semuanya di tangan kita
Pemuda yang semangat jihadnya teguh di hati

Tidak akan gentar dicabar

Tinta emas yang mencatatkan sejarah gemilang

Telah pasti ia kan berulang
Yang perlu hanya kesedaran

Bersama diri yang ada kekuatan

Iman dan kesabaran

Yang mesti diusahakan
Banggalah dengan gayamu

Hidup seorang pejuang

Nyatakan pada dunia

Masa depan untuk Islam, untuk kita

dipetik dr saifulislam.com=)

Aku dan Masa Laluku

2009-05-02T22:47:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.......

Aku dan masa laluku
Masa lalu yang berhantu
Sehingga aku selalu bersedih
tanpa henti tanpa misi tanpa aksi

Kata sahabatku,
" Kenapa liza nak bersedih dgn masa lalu, 1 detik yang berlalu kita dah consider it as semalam, semalam2 sejarah, hari nie kita punya, esok x siapa tahu, jadi setiap detik baru mulakanlah dgn niat dan azam yang baru "

Kata sahabatku lagi,
" liza, learn from the past, don't live with it "

Kata sahabatku lagi,
" sampai bila liza nk harapkn kitorg utk selalu naikkn semangat liza time liza down?? "

Kata sahabatku lagi,
" it's within urself liza, let it go, don't think about it anymore, forget it "

Kata sahabatku lagi,
" Allah paling suka hambaNya apabila dia melakukan kesalahan dia terus bertaubat "

Aku telah banyak kali dengar kata2 itu
Bukan sekali, dua atau tiga
Berkali-kali

Kukatakan padanya aku berhati lembut berjiwa degil
Adakah benar aku begitu?
Ya..dan tidak juga

Kadang-kadang hati ini terasa letih
Letih kerana masih menyimpan perasaan itu
Masih berharap suatu yang palsu
Mengikut hawa nafsu

Namun jauh di sudut hati, aku tahu
Aku tahu apa yang aku mahu
Apa yang aku mahu???

Aku dan masa laluku
Akan teruskah begitu??
Belum mahu lagikah aku biarkan ia berlalu???
Liza, biarkanlah ia berlalu
Itu masa lalumu
Kesat air matamu
Buang angan2 palsumu
Hela nafas baru
Mula langkah baru

Aku dan masa laluku
Aku ingin jauh darimu
Pergi, pergi, jauh kau dariku
Jauh, jauh, usah kembali padaku

p/s: nie post pertamaku y terlalu sentimental...harap maklum=)

Why i WANT to have my OWN BLOG??

2009-05-01T08:42:00.005+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim......

Now most of us have our own blog. It has become a trend. I asked myself, why i chose to write here?am i just following the trend?to impress people?

I still remember how eager was I at the first time creating my own blog. I did burden my friends with my eagerness. They have to teach me how to create a blog and the settings it needed. haha...it was funny...because i did screw up my 1st blog n act this is the 2nd one.....(if u notice, lar~)

I started blogging since March 09...still new....
Act....I don't like writing....I prefer talking.....I'm very talkative....need to reduce it...hehe~
But, I love reading others' blogs. Kind of addicted to some blog right now. Then, i decided to have one of my own. Just a simple space where i can post something to remind me, to record my journey in seeking my trueself. It's a kind of personal blog right now and most of the posts are about me and my thoughts and feelings. I'm just sharing here, not yet giving.

This post is actually to remind myself about my niat of having and writing this blog.
Blogging is not just a trend, blogging not just to impress people, blogging not to get popularity,
ask ourself what blogging is for?
It can be more precious and meaningful if we write here for Allah's bless. Sharing something than can bring us closer to Allah. InsyAllah=)

To all bloggers out there, continue sharing because sometime we learn from you...from your experiences, from your sadness and joy, from your success and failure, and life is also about sharing right?Let's share for Allah's sake=)

Wallahu'alam~

I'm too busy!!!

2009-04-20T23:03:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....

Everyday as I wake up at dawn

My mind starts working the moment I yawn

There were many things to do, o dear!

That’s why I hastily did my Subuh prayer

I didn’t have time to sit longer to praise the Lord

To me rushing out after prayer is nothing odd….

Since school, I had been busy every minute

Completing my tutorials and handing it in

My ECAs took up most of my time always

No time did I have to Allah to pray

Too many things to do and zikir is rare

For Allah, I really had no time to spare…

When I grew up and started my career

Working all day to secure my future

When I reached home, I preferred to have fun

I chatted on the phone but I didn’t read the Quran

I spent too much time surfing the internet

Sad to say, my faith was falling flat…

The only time I have left is weekends

During which I prefer window shopping with friends

I couldn’t spare time to go to the mosque

I’m too busy, that’s the BIG EXCUSE…

I did my five prayers but did so quickly

After prayer, I didn’t sit longer to reflect quietly

I didn’t have time to help the needy ones

I was loaded with work as my precious time runs

No time at all to visit a sick Muslim friend

To orphans and elderly, I hardly lent a hand

I’m too busy to do community service

When there were gatherings, I helped the least

My life is already full of stress

So I didn’t counsel a Muslim in distress

I didn’t spend much time with my family

Because I thought, doing so is a waste of time…

No time to share with non-muslim about Islam

Even though I know, inviting causes no harm

No time to do Sunnah prayers at all

All these contribute to my imaan’s fall

I’m busy here and busy there

I’ve no time at all, that’s all I care

I went for religious lessons, just once in a while

‘Coz I’m too busy making a pile…

I worked all day and I slept all night

Too tired for Tahajjud and it seemed not right

To me, earning a living was already tough

So I only did basic deeds but that’s not enough…

No time at all to admire God’s creation

No time to praise Allah and seek His Compassion

Although I know how short is my life

For Islam I really didn’t strive…

Finally the day comes, when the Lord calls for me

And I stood before Him with my Life’s History

I feel so guilty because I could have prayed more

Isn’t that what a Muslim lives for?

To thank Allah and do more good deeds

And the Quran is for us all to read…

Now at Judgement Day, I’m starting to fret

I’ve wasted my life but it’s too late to regret

My entry to Paradise depends on my good behaviour

But I’ve not done enough nor did proper prayer

My “good deed book” is given from my right

An angel opened my “book” and read out my plight

Then the angel chided me…

“ O You Muslim servant, you are the one,

Who is given enough time, yet not much is done

Do you know that your faith is loose?

Saying “no time” is only an excuse

Your “good deed book” should be filled up more

With all the good work you stood up for…

Hence, I only recorded those little good deeds

As I say this, I know your eyes will mist…

I was about to write some more, you see

But I did not have, THE TIME to list……

taken from : http://langkah-demi-langkah.blogspot.com/

thanks k anis=)

Why do I Want to Fly?

2009-04-19T18:33:00.009+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim......

Canada...this is where i will be studying by sept 2010 if Allah bless me to go there....amin~
Sounds cool rite??(huhu...riak plak)
But cool, fun, enjoyment are not the only issues.....
The actual issue that i'm pondering is why do i want to fly?

Sky High 2009 that i attended on last Saturday managed to open my eyes to see that there are other important reasons for me to fly rather than just to experience the SNOW which we don't experience in m'sia. It sounds silly...but this was once what i and most of us thought of if we are able to fly.(sort of....)

We want the popularity studying abroad, we want to experience the 4 seasons (winter, summer, fall, spring), we want to see our photos n hari raya greetings published on the newspapers each year....are that the only reasons that make me eager to fly??

Ustaz Hasrizal said :

" Why do you want to fly? why do you prefer studying abroad while m'sia can offer you every courses that you want to do? why?why?

Are you willing to let your parents esp your mom crying for you for years?Do their sacrifices
worth it? "

Let us answer this question together.
After joining this program, these are my answers :

# i want to fly because i want to challege and strengthen my faith to Allah. ustaz said u can't survive with 'islam warisan' but u can survive with 'islam pilihan'.

# i want to fly because i want to grab the opportunities to learn at one of the best uni for geology in canada which is university of toronto (but uni doesn't totally determine our excellance, but our attitude)

# i want to fly because i want to become a mukminah professional, a geologist insyallah who can contribute to the ummah

# i want to prove to myself and the world that islam is the best way of life and muslim can also succeed and i don't want them to look down on us anymore

# i want to fly because i hope by being away from my muslim community that i will appreciate n understand my deen more (because when we study abroad, people will always question our faith)

Ya Allah, if 'flying' is the best for me, make it true Ya Allah....
Give me strength and patience in going through the obstacles on my way there....
if it's not the best for me, make me redha with your faith and continue living as your faithful servant.

Btw, here are some of the pearls that i got while diving in Sky High 2009(hehe...)

# whenever we have problem in life, always go back to basic, Allah our CREATOR then we will find answers and solutions

# where are we from? : alam roh (alam where we are very close to Allah), alam rahim (alam full of love)
why we are here? : to serve Allah ( " I have only created Jinns and men, that they may serve Me " 51:56)
where are going after this? : alam barzakh-alam mahsyar-heaven or hell (our eternal world)

# it is a fitrah for human kind to love being close to Allah since we were close to Him in alam roh, if we choose to go far from Allah we are the ones who are going to suffer and this will never affect Allah.

# excellance is more about our attitude than other factors such as knowledge, skills, and environment

# it's hard to change our attitude, but we can only succeed if we force ourselves to change it, not just giving excuses all the time.
" Verily never will Allah change the condition of people until they change it themselves (with their own souls ) " 13:11

# specially for me, if you want to succeed you need to learn how to control your emotion ( jgn cepat melatah if anything happens)

# be proactive not reactive or inactive
proactive: always try to find the best solution
reactive : never accept his/her mistakes, keep blaming others
easily affected by environment
low ability in controlling him/herself
inactive : no respond

Alhamdulillah....Allah gave me the chance to attend this meaningful program, thank you Ustaz Hasrizal for giving, brothers and sisters for sharing, committees for organising.
May Allah bless you=)

Waallahu'alam~

Abah....sabar ye=)

2009-04-05T14:17:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.........

Pg semalam dlm kul 10 cm2.....aq dpt call dr mak.....
terkejut jugak mula2.....coz x pnh lak mak call pg2 cmnie......aq y msh mamai angktla phone2.....(niela akibatnye klu tertdo lps subuh..huhu~)

" Assalamualaikum, mak....npe tepon pg2 nie...ade pape kew? "

" Waalaikumussalam, bru bgon tdow kew? "

" Aah...hehe..."

" erm...mak cume nk bg taw liza....ade org bakar kereta abah "

" Astaghfirullahal azim....btol kew nie mak?spe y bkr? "

" 2la....sian abh kamu...x abis2 org2 nk dengki n die "

Aq terkejut sgt ble dgr berita nie.....terbayang muke abah y bru nek dr sungai.... penat2..tgok2 kereta dah hangus dibakar org....sian abah...sbar ye abh=)
Ini bukan kali pertama org2 ingin mendajal abah....tp abah memang sabar orgnyer....abh selalu ckp cm nie...

" biarlah org nk dengki kt kita, jgn kite lak dengki n org "

Mule2 die tebuk boat abh y diletakkan di tepi sungai....ps2 die pancitkn tayar kereta.....x cukup lg die pecahkn cermin depan kereta abah.....smpi abh drive home tnpa windscreen...nsib baik x hujan mlm2.....tp tndakan org2 kli nie mmg dah melampau....DIE BAKAR KERETA ABAH....kereta y byk berbakti pd kami sekeluarga...kereta y abh bwk ke sungai n ke pasar2 utk berniaga.....smpi hati org2 buat abah cmnie.....

Ya Allah...ampunkanlah org2....hilangkn perasaan dengki die terhadap abah...jgnlah die ape2 kn abh lg selepas nie.....

npe org nie dengki sgt ye??
die x senang ble org len senang...die jeles ble abah selalu dapat byk ikan.....sebab abah mmg pakar bab2 nk tangkap ikan nie....
klu kite x pndi....bertanye...belaja...
bknnyer buat dajal kt org cm2....
lg stu...nk dengki2 buat ape....sungai2 milik Allah....
bukannye die sorang y punye...klu lah aq dpt ckp mcm nie kt org2 kn besh....hehe..(sowy2...emotional plak)

Sian abah....terpakse kumpul duit lg utk beli stu lg kereta....bukan senang taw.....buat mase nie abh gune van y bru di renovate utk ke sungai dan ke pasar....lg pown i2la stu2 nyer transport y kami ade buat mase nie selepas abh accident kreta hri2.....
moto pown ade gak kt umh...alhamdulillah~

Liza bedoa semoga Allah melindungi abah di mana saja die berada.....esp mse d sungai...jgnlah org2 buat ape2 lg....semoga polis dpt tangkap org2 secepat mungkin....walaupown agk sukar kerana tiada bukti nk dakwa org2....tp liza percaya ade hikmah di sebalik semua nie....percaya dgn pasti=)

~Suara seorang anak nelayan~

One Day I Will....I Will

2009-03-31T13:22:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim......

Ya Allah...forgive me...i am yet not doing It....
I procrastinate n procrastinate....until i gain my courage.....
the problem is...how long i want 2 wait....
who'll give me the courage??
I know it's You...n only You.....

Ya Allah....give me the courage...as soon as possible....
bcoz i can't wait anymore......waiting as a sinner.....
i know....this does'nt sound right...
who am i to ask You like that.....
Ya Allah....i'm still begging for that courage.....begging n begging....
n i know one fine day You will give me....so that i will do IT....i will=)

Amin~

I'm Reminding Myself

2009-03-28T12:07:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim......

Liza dear,

" Focus on the FUTURE rather than the PAST "

" Focus on OPPORTUNITIES rather than PROBLEMS "

" Think about SOLUTIONS and what SPECIFIC ACTIONS i could take, rather than things that HAVE GONE WRONG and who is to BE BLAME "

" SUCCESS is a process of DIVERTING my SCATTERED FORCES into ONE POWERFUL CHANNEL "

Keep Moving Silently, Systematically, Patiently.....

2009-03-25T10:34:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim......

Alhamdulillah...i jz finished my 1st as trial paper.....thinking skills!!!
It was'nt that hard...yet i did not manage 2 finish it on time...never mind...this is a lesson 4 me...
Liza, practise more k=)

It's not going 2 demotivate me....still got many papers to go...
Need 2 focus on other subjects esp chemistry, physics n maths....
At 1st...i was so worried about this trial n the coming AS FINAL...
I tend to compare myself with others which makes me worry even more until i don't know where to start...
After meeting Mr Adnan, i gained back my confidence....he told me this...

" you can only compare urself with urself days b4...not others...u r lucky...bcoz u still have time..so, start working systematically and if i were u, i will do solat hajat every night b4 i sleep and ask for Allah to bless my life n wut i study "

Act, a levels subjects for AS are not that difficult...but there are so many things to cover...
(this is not a prob, if i did my part last sem..huhu~)
But it doesn't mean it's impossible for me to score...
I know i can do it...=)
I need 2 change the way i study...
It's no longer the same like spm...now i understand....n insyAllah...i am ready 2 change=)

Liza,
# u still have time to work out....never give up
# identify which subjects n which chapter that u r weak at
# don't waste time....becoz sometimes it's not bcoz u can't do it, it's just a matter of time
# master the concepts n do questions
# have discussion wif friends n lecturers
# try ur best, pray 4 Allah's bless, tawakkal =)

" Kemudian, apabila engkau membulatkan tekad, maka bertawakkal lah kepada Allah. Sungguh, Allah mencintai orang yang bertawakkal. "

" Jika Allah menolong kamu, maka tidak ada yang dapat mengalahkanmu, tetapi jika Allah membiarkan kamu ( tidak memberi pertolongan ), maka siapa yang dapat menolongmu setelah itu? Karena itu, hendaklah kepada Allah saja orang2 mukmin bertawakkal." ( 3:159-160 )

Ya Allah...i wanna b close 2 u....not only in tough times....but also fun times....
Help me Ya Allah...to understand what does it means to be ur slave....
to be a muslim=)

Is it worthy regretting the past???

2009-03-19T23:17:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

Is it worthy??
Now i'm already 19...Thank you Allah for everything that you give me....
I know i'm not a good slave for YOU....I did so many things wrong....
n now I dont wan2 stay in this ' kepompong jahiliyyah ' anymore...
I wanna b a good slave 4 u....n it is what i am meant 2b.....

Ya Allah.....
As i decided 2 stay in this path....my past time keeps calling me.....
Now i'm facing the consequences of my wrong deeds....
I'm trying 2 b patient....yet i'm too weak...

Then You console me....Thank You Allah....

Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang berkata, " Tuhan kami adalah Allah " kemudian mereka meneguhkan pendirian mereka, maka malaikat-malaikat akan turun kepada mereka (dengan berkata), " Janganlah kamu merasa takut dan janganlah kamu bersedih hati, dan bergembiralah kamu dengan (memperoleh) syurga yang telah dijanjikan kepadamu."

Kamilah pelindung-pelindungmu dalam kehidupan di dunia dan akhirat, di dalamnya (syurga) kamu memperoleh apa yang kamu minta.

Sebagai penghormatan (bagimu) dari (Allah) Yang Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang.

Dan siapakah yang lebih baik perkataannya daripada orang yang menyeru kepda Allah dan mengerjakan kebajikan dan berkata, " sungguh, aku termasuk orang-orang muslim (yang berserah diri)? "

Dan tidaklah sama kejahatan dengan kebaikan. Tolaklah (kejahatan itu) dengan cara yang lebih baik, sehingga orang yang ada permusuhan antara kamu dan dia akan rasa seperti teman setia.

Dan (sifat-sifat yang baik itu) tidak akan dianugerahkan kecuali kepada orang-orang yang sabar dan tidak dianugerahkan kecuali kepada orang-orang yang mempunyai keberuntungan yang besar.

Dan jika syaitan mengganggumu dengan suatu godaan, maka mohonlah perlindungan kepada Allah. Sungguh, Dialah Yang Maha Mendengar, Maha Mengetahui.
(41: 30-36)

Liza,
Clean yourself from all those jahiliyyah habits...not drastically...step by step dear.....
Top up all wrong deeds with good deeds.....
When u feel like giving up.....pray n ask strength from Allah....
You are too far from others???
It's ok dear....you're competing wif youself....not others...always remember that!!!
Being too concern about what others think about yourself is considered jahiliyyah too...
don forget....Allah's judgement is the most important.....
As long as you're trying 2 make tomorrow better than today.....you're on the right track...

InsyAllah....
Waallahu'alam~

Aku Wajib Tinggalkan Dia

2009-03-18T20:58:00.007+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....

Hari nie...tetibe aq rse nk luahkn ape y aq pendam selame nie....
Aq slalu tnye kt dri aq sendri....kenape ssh sgt nk letakkn CINTA KEPADA ALLAH no 1 kt dlm hti aq nie?? (korunk pown tryla tnye dri sendri gak...mne taw ade jwpn)

Puas aq cri....tp x jmpe gak jawapan pd soalan nie...lps tnye akak usrah aq n dgr die nye explanation...aq still x dpt jwapan y puaskn hti aq....
Sampaila stu hri nie... aq terbce stu buku nie....yg dulunye aq hnye bce utk menyedapkn hati...(hati org y dibuai cinta....mencari2 konon2nye adela part2 y menghalalkn hubungn ini)

Jawapannye adelah...................................................................................(cube teka mne taw btul!!)
" Liza, hati ko sebenarnye y sakit, sebab2 x dpt rse bestnyer CINTA ALLAH"
Betul ke hti aq sakit???

Buku2 ckp....sape y x dpt rse CINTA ALLAH i2 indah dr cinta lain maksudnye hati die sakit....
Nie die nye analogi....

Sekarang semua org pk psl favourite food msg2.....Dah??Jom kita mulekn....

Bile korunk mkn favourite food 2 mse korunk sihat, mesti sedapkn??msti rse nk tmbh lg....
Cube klu korunk sakit, cthnye demam kew, ulser kew msti x selera nk mkn....wlupown mknn2 favourite korunk.....btul x??
Npe cm2 ek??Adakah sbb favourite food korunk2 x sedap??
No..no...bkn food2 y sedap..tp bdn kite y x sht..lnts x selera nk mkn ape pown...even our favorite food....Mcm2 la gak n hti kite nie...bknnye CINTA ALLAH i2 x best...tp HATI KITA Y SAKIT...
So, kena cpt2 jmpe doktor...takut melarat.....
Faham kew analogi nie?sowyla merepek sket....hehe=P

Lg stu soaln y slalu bermain di fikiran aq.....
" Npe aq nk tinggalkn die...aq syg diela...aq dah cbe...tp x ley gak"
" Aq benci dri aq sendri, dah try byk kli tp x ley gak...urgh~"

Aq pown mencari dan terus mencari jawapan pd soalan aq nie....
Alhamdulillah...aq jmpe jwpnyer....

Liza, ko perlu tinggalkn die kerana.................

PERTAMA :
" Dan janganlah kamu mendekati zina, (zina) itu sungguh suatu perbuatan yangkeji, dan suatu jalan yang buruk " (17:32)

KEDUA :
"Telah ditetapkan atas manusia bagiannya dari zina. Ia pasti mendapatkan hal yang demikian itu. Zinanya mata adalah memandang, zinanya telinga adalah mendengar, zinanya lidah adalah berbicara ,zinanya tangan adalah meraba, zinanya kaki dengan melangkah dan zinanya hati dengan berkeinginan,berangan angan dan membenarkan atau mendustakan kemaluan."(Riwayat Bukhari,Muslim,Abu Daud dan lain lain)

KETIGA :
"Iblis berkata: "Ya Tuhanku, oleh sebab Engkau telah memutuskan bahwa aku sesat pasti aku akan menjadikan mereka memandang baik (perbuatan maksiat)di muka bumi, dan pasti aku akan menyesatkan mereka semuanya, kecuali hamba -hamba Engkau yang mukhlis di antara mereka".(15:39-40)

KEEMPAT :
" Katakanlah: "Jika bapak bapak, anak anak, saudara saudara, istri istri, kaum keluargamu, harta kekayaan yang kamu usahakan, perniagaan yang kamu khawatiri kerugiannya, dan rumah rumah tempat tinggal yang kamu sukai,adalah lebih kamu cintai daripada Allah dan RasulNya dan (dari) berjihad dijalanNya, maka tunggulah sampai Allah mendatangkan keputusanNya." Dan Allah tidak memberi petunjuk kepada orang orang fasik."(9:24)

KELIMA :
" Dan di antara manusia ada orang orang yang menyembah tandingan tandingan selain Allah; mereka mencintainya sebagaimana mereka mencintai Allah. Adapun orang orang yang beriman sangat cinta kepada Allah. Dan jika seandainya orang orang yang berbuat zalim itu mengetahui ketika mereka melihat siksa (pada hari kiamat), bahwa kekuatan itu kepunyaan Allah semuanya dan bahwa Allah amat berat siksaanNya (niscaya mereka menyesal)."(2:165)

KEENAM :
"Katakanlah: "Jika kamu (benar benar) mencintai Allah, ikutilah aku(Muhammad), niscaya Allah mengasihi dan mengampuni dosa dosamu." Allah MahaPengampun lagi Maha Penyayang."(3:31)

"Tidak sempurna iman seseorang sebelum ia lebih mencintaiku berbanding bapanya, anaknya dan seluruh umat manusia"(HR Bukhari)

KETUJUH :
" Katakanlah kepada orang laki laki yang beriman: "Hendaklah mereka menahan pandangannya, dan memelihara kemaluannya; yang demikian itu adalah lebih suci bagi mereka, sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang mereka perbuat". Katakanlah kepada wanita yang beriman: "Hendaklah mereka menahan pandangannya, dan memelihara kemaluannya, dan janganlah mereka menampakkan perhiasannya, kecuali yang (biasa) nampak daripadanya?.. ."(24:30-31)

" Dia mengetahui (pandangan) mata yang khianat dan apa yang disembunyikan oleh hati."(Ghafir 40:19)

Tak touching sgt reason2 nie???
Dlu aq pown pk mcm2....sbb kite x bce ayt2 nie n hati....
I find that all these verses very meaningful 2 me now...coz Allah is answering my questions..not others..
Sebelum nie aq tercari-cari alasannye...tp x sedar bhawa Allah ade semua jawapan pd soalan aq nie...
Aq fhm mmg susah nk terima semua nie...esp klu kite sdg asyik dibuai cinta....
Tp percayalah dgn pasti bhawa ayat2 Allah i2lah y sentiasa benar.
Akhir kata, mari kita renungi kata2 ini......

" PERTAMA TELAH KUPANDANG MAKHLUK YANG BANYAK INI. MAKA AKU SAKSIKANLAH BAHAWA, TIAP-TIAP MEREKA MEMPUNYAI KEKASIH DAN KECINTAAN TEMPAT HATINYA TERTAMBAT. SEBAHAGIAN DARIPADA KEKASIH ITU HANYA MENDAMPINGI SAMPAI KE SAKIT YANG MEMBAWA MAUT DAN SEBAHAGIAN LAGI HANYA SAMPAI KE TEPI LIANG KUBUR. SETELAH ITU KESEMUANYA PULANG DAN MENINGGALKAN IA TERBARING SEORANG DIRI. TAK SEORANG JUA PUN YANG TURUT MASUK KE KUBUR DAN MENGHIBURNYA DI DALAMNYA. YANG DEMIKIAN TAK KUDAPATI SELAIN AMAL YANG SOLEH. SEBAB ITU KUAMBIL IA MENJADI KEKASIHKU, SUPAYA KELAK IA MENJADI PELITA DI DALAM KUBURKU, MENGHIBURKAN DAN TIDAK MENINGGALKAN AKU SEORANG DIRI "
~Imam Al-Ghazali~

Wallahu'alam=)

Yes I Did It!!

2009-03-10T18:24:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....

Alhamdulillah.....
you know what....today I managed to set up my own electric circuit during physics lab...
sounds nothing rite??but for me it is an achievement....well done liza=)
this is the 1st time 4 this sem that Mr Selva did'nt scold me ...yeay!!!
I always having problems when it comes to setting up circuit...
normal questions....
" how 2 connect this ek??how 2 make it parallel or series?? " huh~

and today I did it all by myself....nothing wrong if we want to give ourselves a compliment rite..
(klu x kita sendiri...spe lg..hehe)

New Start=)

2009-03-09T12:17:00.005+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.......

Alhamdulillah....coz wif Allah's bless this blog is alive again....

n insyAllah the same goes to myself...i want 2 b alive...

I'm really touched by this quotes...

" Apa yang tidak dapat dibuat semua, jangan ditinggalkn semua "

" Kita tidak dicela kerana tidak sampai ke tingkatan takwa yang paling tinggi, tetapi kita dicela kerana tidak membuat usaha, sedangkan kita masih berkemampuan "

Sometimes, I feel like giving up coz it's too hard.The long time it takes to reach 'kemanisan iman' always discouraging me. As I read this quotes, I realize that it is the effort we make is more important than the result we get. Ya Allah...why is it too hard for me to love You most than others? ...why I keep repeating my previous mistakes?....

Ya Allah...forgive me....

So many wrong doings I did..yet You knocked my heart to come close to You...to love You..

and You promised me wif Your LOVE if i really work for it..

Thank You Allah....

I Love You=)