Hati ini

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Wahai hati,
Mengapakah kau masih milik dia?
Mengapakah kau masih belum mahu menyingkirkan dia, setelah sekian lama?
Mengapakah kau masih milik dunia?

Wahai hati,
Andai kau bisa merasai dan memahami bahawa dia tidak baik untukmu,
Tapi kau tetap berkeras bahawa kau begitu cinta dan sayang padanya,
BENARKAH ITU KATA-KATAMU WAHAI HATI ATAU KATA-KATA SANG NAFSU DURJANA?

Wahai hati,
tolonglah bantu aku kali ini,
jangan jatuhkan dan lemahkan aku lagi,
bantu aku untuk kembali berdiri bermaruah dan megah,

Wahai hati,
aku tahu, ini tidak mudah bagi kamu,
TETAPI KALI INI, KITA BERDUA PERLU LAKUKAN INI,
TIDAK BOLEH TUNGGU LAGI,

Wahai hati,
aku tidak memaksamu melupakan dia atau membenci dia,
tetapi kau perlu tinggalkan dia kali ini, dengan hidupnya sendiri,
kerana kau belum cukup kuat,
BELUM CUKUP KUAT UNTUK MENANGKIS AJAKAN DOSANYA,
APATAH LAGI UNTUK MEMBIMBINGNYA,
kau tidak kejam jika kau berbuat demikian,
MALAH ITU SATU KEPERLUAN SEGERA UNTUKMU,
KAU PERLU LAKUKAN INI,
pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

Wahai hatiku sayang,
aku harap kau mengerti=)

I'm not that cheap!!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

It's time to let myself free of those negative thoughts!!
I love myself.
I will never harm myself with stupid acts.
I will never be that two persons again.
I will just be me!
Start with a small step but keep walking without turning back.
(sedikit, tapi berterusan)

a man, if he loves you and want you to be his wife,
he will protect you,
he tries his best not to hurt you,
he will not take advantage on you,
he wont influence you to do bad things!!!!!
cause you are future mom to his kids!!!!!
so wake up darling,
remember what buzai said,

" tak perlu tercari-cari, tak perlu menanti-menanti, percayalah jodoh di tangan Allah, sentiasalah berdoa semoga bertemu jodoh yang soleh dan dapat menerima diri kita seadanya. ubah diri menjadi lebih baik, insyAllah jodoh kita pun baik"

first love,
biasalah, susah nak lupa,
tapi perlu ingat,
sayang diri sendiri dulu, baru sayang orang lain!!!!!!

Ya Allah,
berikan hamba taufik dan hidayah,
permudahkan urusan dunia dan akhirat hamba,
ameen=)

There's nothing left

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Have you been in a situation where you are walking around without any direction in your mind?
Some people call it to be a zombie in this real world.
Yes, i've been there.
it was horrible and sickening!!!

for everything that has happened in my life, there's nobody to be blamed.
neither me myself, him, environment, family or God!
it's just fated that way.
i have to accept it as part of my life wholeheartedly with no regret or killing guilt.
is that really guilt or ignorance?

i need space people.
i need a breeze of fresh air.
and actually i do have one, but it's just me who refuse to embrace myself in my new life.
why not dear??
there's nothing left there!
no point of holding on!
why not??
why??