Where's My U-turn???

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Ya Allah.
I don't know why i'm feeling this way these last years.
I feel my life is empty.
No urge to move on in life.
I feel so hopeless.
It's so much different now.
Never thought of it before.

Free time is killing me.
Loneliness is making it even worst.
I need somebody to talk to.
To share my feelings and thoughts.
Yes, tarbiyah opens my eyes to a brighter side of life.
But, it takes time for me to digest that.
Even to make it works for me.

Ya Allah.
Thank you for all these tests.
But, my Rabb,
I just can't take it anymore.
Please guide me.
I did so many things wrongly.
Honestly, i feel so sad right now.
Feel like running away.
To find peace.
To find You.
This world is confusing me.

Ya Allah.
Change the way i see life.
Change the way i understand the purpose of me being here.
Let me see it from The Window of Islam.
Though people see it from many windows.
Broken windows.
Dusty windows.
Opaque windows.

Ya Allah.
Make me strong.
Make me not easily affected by what people say about me.
Make me patient in finding You.
Coz so far i haven't found You.
It's a long road.
Guide me Ya Allah.
Don't let me astray from this road.
Amin=)